Chirky

Parental Control

2010-03-17T01:35:19Z

Roger and I were on a walk with Rayah this evening when we came upon a father kneeled down with his child. At first it appeared as though the child was hurt, and he was consoling her. As we came closer, we heard her crying and pleading with him - whatever it was, she made sure he knew she wasn't going to do it again. Then he started yelling at her. Screaming. SCREAMING.

My neck coiled and my eyebrows shot up. As we were (slowly) walking past, I turned around to look at them. He had his daughter -- she was maybe three years old -- pinned to the ground, in a sort of headlock, while he hovered over her and screamed at her about cars driving down the road. (This was on a walking path in our neighborhood park, bordered on one side by a residential street and on the other side by a creek.) The child's mother stood there, cross-armed, observing. The little girl's face was red and marked with tears. And this father - this father was so oblivious to anything around him, and screaming at her so forcefully, that it seemed abusive to me. He was frightening. The situation was so disturbing that *I* started crying. You guys! I started crying.

Now, full disclosure: I didn't understand the context of the discipline. Had she gotten too near the street (about six feet away) when a car was driving by? Had she been disobedient the first couple times her father asked her to move away from the street? I don't know. But I do know that this man was scary. And angry. He was belittling and intimidating his daughter. I have no patience for that. I wanted to rescue that little girl!

Roger and I quietly discussed whether we should do anything. We stopped and (covertly) watched, waiting to see if he would harm his daughter. We wondered at what point it would be appropriate to step in. In the end, we only watched them. I dried my eyes. The father eventually stopped, they marched past us on their way home, the little girl clinging to her mother's side, as far from her father as she could get. I turned to Roger and said, "I never want to treat our children like that." He had her pinned to the ground in a headlock. She was THREE.

And now I can't get that scene out of my mind - the dad hunkered down, trumpeting his temper; the mom passively standing by; the little girl, back arched, bawling, twisting her wet face from her father's.

I get that every parent has different discipline styles. I understand that I don't know the full story. But I also know that something isn't sitting right in my heart, and even though that family is long-gone, I'm curious: At what point do you step in? Or do you? How do you know when? And what should that look like?

Spring has sprung!

2010-03-15T16:20:40Z

This morning I received an email from my sister-in-law, Rosalyn, professing her love for spring: "...the daffodils are bursting open, the forsythia (one of my very favoritest signs of spring) is turning into solid rays of sunshine as the blooms appear, and all of the flowering trees are vying to get in on the act! I'm so grateful for spring!"

I couldn't have said it better. The past few days it has been 70 degrees in Dallas, and I've been chomping at the bit to get outside. Rayah and I try to take walks every day. We love watching the ducks swim in the creek by our house, watching the little baby muskrats leap into the water when we come near. The daffodils are blooming in Dallas, also, and last week Rayah and I watched a toddler squeal with delight as he ran through them toward his Daddy. The birds are chirping, and blue jays are fluttering around our neighborhood. The Bradford Pear trees are thick with white blooms - I love watching Rayah's face as she stares up at tree branches - and I'm looking forward to seeing my favorite shade of green as trees begin to bud.

I've always thought that spring is my favorite season - I love the life that begins to emerge. I love that sunlight is beginning to stretch the day. I love the bright, bold colors. I love the warm days and deep blue skies. For me, it's the promise of something more to come, the promise of life and growth and beauty. And I guess that's not surprising, coming out of a dark and cold winter.

Out on a weekend walk with my two favorite people!

Frugal Fridays: On Consignment

2010-03-05T15:25:58Z

If you (a) have kiddos or are pregnant and (b) are in the Dallas/Fort Worth area this month, I have a special treat for you today! Twice each year, HUGE consignment sales crop up in the metroplex. Forget church garage sales or Craigslist - these are more like warehouse events, with every toy, activity equipment, stroller system, brand of clothing (and sizes to match!) on the market -- and more! And the prices? Well, those are generally pretty awesome.

Whether you're shopping for fill-and-spill toys, boppy pillows, summer frocks, sweet purses, cargo shorts and graphic shirts, an extra stroller, books, more crib sheets, exersaucers, kid-sized activity tables (or nearly anything else), these consignment sales are THE place to go for gently used, inexpensive items.

And I've got all the info for you...

]]> RIGHT HERE. I've taken the sales and inserted them into a simple March 2010 calendar so you can see at a glance which is offered when. It makes planning simple! (You're welcome.)

Rolling', Rollin', Rollin'

2010-03-03T19:30:12Z

Yesterday Rayah turned six months old.

*faints*

Six months! And as a little birthday present, Rayah taught herself how to roll from her tummy to her back.

Today we also had an appointment with her pediatrician, and it seems Rayah had a bit of a growth spurt! In the past two months, she's grown TWO inches! Here's her stats:

Weight: 16 pounds, 5 ounces (55%)
Height: 26 1/4" (75%)
Head: 16 1/2" (30%)

My little baby is growing up!

A World of Tastes

2010-03-01T14:38:23Z

For the past several weeks, Rayah has been watching me very closely as I eat. I began sharing (pretend) "bites" with her on her own spoon of whatever I was eating: soup...cereal...ice cream (most likely). Then, over the weekend, we gave Rayah her first bite of solid food.

It was a winning success!

I am trying to make all of my own baby food, using the Cooking for Baby cookbook. The recipes are really simple and the book has tons of info on storing, freezing, reheating, cooking ahead, etc.

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Baby's First Rice Cereal

Ingredients:
1/4 cup whole grain brown rice
1 cup water

(Plus my addition: 2 oz pumped breastmilk or formula)

Instructions:
1. Pulverize rice into a powder (I used my blender for this - it took 4-5 minutes for a fine powder.)
2. Boil 1 cup water.
3. Add rice powder and turn heat to low.
4. Whisk constantly while cooking, 5-8 minutes, until water is fully absorbed.
5. Cool.
6. Mix .5 oz breastmilk into individual servings

(Makes four servings, which I divide into even smaller servings)

I divided the rice cereal into four smaller containers. Since one infant's "meal" is between two teaspoons and 1/4 cup, I kept one container in the fridge and froze the other three. Right now, I'm feeding Rayah a full meal of breastmilk, and afterward offering her the rice cereal, just to get her used to the idea of eating something from a bowl and spoon. We'll do this for two to four weeks.

The one container I kept in my refrigerator is the equivalent of three servings, once breastmilk is added. (It should be a mostly liquid texture. I'm adding breastmilk to each individual serving, not to the entire container of rice cereal. Since breastmilk is a natural source of iron, I'm not concerned about adding extra iron right now.)

Since food is something I enjoy cooking (and eating!) so much, I'm really excited to expand Rayah's palette of tastes: pears, butternut squash, apricots, peas. It's so, so much fun!! I thought I might cry feeding her solids -- you know: Mah bebe is growing up! and all that -- but instead I was just really proud of her. We even got a quick video of her foray into solid foods!

Gemma

2010-02-25T03:36:02Z

I read a book tonight.

Well, that's not fair. I read one-half of a book tonight, and it was more than I needed to read. Halfway into the second chapter, I skipped ahead to the end. I read the last chapter. And satisfied by that, I skipped to the middle and read a few chapters.

Typically, I don't skip around in books. I read them straight-through, the way we're taught to do it, the order in which society expect us to to do it.

But this book...this book was different.

* * * * *

There are lots of things I don't really talk about on this blog, and sexual abuse is one of them. I have a lot of thoughts about sexual abuse, a lot of experience helping women grow through their own hurts. For the past several years I have led self-help support groups for women in the Dallas metroplex.

* * * * *

Last week, I received a press release about a controversial book, asking if I was interested in reviewing it. Typically, those press releases find their way into my trash can before I can get past the greeting -- but this one, for whatever reason -- I read. Then I responded. And today the book arrived in the mail.

* * * * *

In all fairness, I knew what this book was about before I started reading it. I knew that it was about sexual abuse. I also knew that the author was victimized as a young girl. And though this story is represented as fictional, I can tell you that it's not. This is a woman's story. It may not be the author's story, but that doesn't mean that it's any less real.

To Meg Tilly, the author: Gemma made me want to vomit. It is too graphic, the detail too accurate, the emotions too spot-on. That is a compliment to you as an author, to your ability to portray the way so many sexual abuse victims shut down, process emotions, trust false beliefs that are fed to them by their abusers.

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This book is not recommend for individuals under 15. I am almost 32 years old. This book -- it haunts me, as many stories of sexual abuse do.

Admittedly, I did not read the book in its entirety. But I read enough. What I read turned my stomach. It got me angry. I wasn't sure if I want to throw up or punch a wall. Because this was a true story, even if you don't know the name of the woman it happened to. But I do. Her name is Amy. Her name is Jennifer. Her name is Sondra, or Carolyn, or Jeanine, or Marie. She's any woman. She's one in six women.

To be honest, I'm not angry with Meg Tilly for telling a story that needs to be told. Too many people talk about sexual abuse as though it is a taboo subject. I'm revolted that this story even exists. I'm repulsed by those whose sadistic natures rule them and attempts to ruin the lives of their victims. I'm angry for Gemma, and I'm angry for every woman I personally know, whose lives have been touched by pedophiles and rapists and molesters.

To every woman whose story can be found in Gemma's pages, even to the slightest degree, know this: There is a way out. It is possible to heal, to recover, to move on with your life. Even if it doesn't seem that way in the moment.

Frugal Fridays: Grocerying at Wal-Mart

2010-02-19T15:36:56Z

The first time I ever saw a woman Price Matching was during a Back-to-School sale in 2008. I don’t remember why I had gone to Wal-Mart – I didn’t shop there often – and somehow I found myself in line behind a woman whose shopping cart was brimming with paper and pencils and rulers and backpacks and crayons. And more. Oooooohhhhh, was there more. She pulled out circulars from local stores and began going through them with the cashier. Suddenly, she turned to me.

Now, let’s stop for a second and discuss Wal-Mart. Admittedly, I used to be a little prejudiced. I really disliked shopping at the store. I don’t know why that is, because they carry just about everything under the sun, and if there’s one thing I like (especially as a working Mom), it’s convenience. If I could go through a drive-thru to purchase sunblock, I would. [Note to Wal-Mart: You know what would be awesome? Having the ability to order 20 items or less online, and then swing through a drive-thru to pick up my order. Please consider beta-testing that in Plano, Texas.] [Second note to Wal-Mart: The entrance to your store in Denton, Texas carries the overwhelming stench of vomit. Please send help.]

Anyway, so this woman just turned to me and said: “I’m sorry – this is going to take a while for me to check out. Price matching is something I do to help our family afford for me to be a stay at home mom.”

I just smiled and dismissed the issue, telling her I was fascinated by what she was doing. And really, I was. For the next five minutes, I stood there watching her flip through circulars and compare prices. I watched the cashier ring up the purchase. I watched as this Mom surrendered coupons. And I was stunned. I never knew that you could take an advertisement with lower prices from Tom Thumb or Sprouts or CVS or the dollar store and get that same price at Wal-Mart.

]]> Since then, I’ve tried to emulate her. Each Wednesday, I pull the store circulars from my newspaper. I find the items that are on sale – meats and fruits and veggies and whatever – and I circle them with a giant black Sharpie. Then I make a list of grocery purchases vs. Wal-Mart purchases. I do most of my grocerying now at Wal-Mart; but there are some things Wal-Mart doesn’t honor, like store coupons and Buy One Get One sales. So, when Tom Thumb offers an 18-pack of eggs for $0.88 (with a Tom Thumb coupon), or a Buy One Get One sale on Pork Tenderloin, I’ll typically swing by my local store for those items and those items only. [Note to Tom Thumb: Sooooo disappointed that you’re discontinuing the AA frequent flier miles with every purchase! My loyalty just flew (Get it? Flew? Haaaa!) out the window.]

And yes, it takes a while. It takes a while to create my grocery lists, and it takes a while to grocery shop and compare prices, and it takes a while to check out. But when I’m saving – on average – $50 to $60 every time I shop? Well, that’s worth it to me. So thank you, Wal-Mart, for helping me Save Money and Live Better. I think I’m doing that, a little bit at a time.

International Quinoa Salad Recipe

2010-02-17T14:01:20Z

My obsession with quinoa all started last summer in Chicago. BlogHer '09 had just come to a close, and I went out to lunch with ElisaC, who is vegan.

We headed to The Chicago Diner. (Meat Free since '83, hey ya!) Looking over the menu, I was beginning to feel a little clueless. I quizzed Elisa on ingredients: What is acai? What is seitan? What is quinoa? What is seitan, again? And pronouncing those ingredients! It was embarrassingly obvious that I had no idea what I was talking about. I finally settled on the Southwestern Tostadas, spread thick with mashed black beans and topped with quinoa and avocado. WOW, were they good. They were so good -- I liked the quinoa so much -- that I decided right then I had to make it again when I got back to Dallas. (You might notice that very dish - the Southwestern Tostadas - is on my menu for this month!)

And that's how we get to today's recipe from Fat Free Vegan: International Quinoa Salad. I took Susan's recipe and developed it into the Lazy Woman's Recipe, because that is what I am: a lazy cook. I like foods that taste good without too much fuss, not that Susan's recipe really looks like much work, but mine is even less. I cut out the chickpeas, and because I usually don't have them on hand I cut out the jalapeno and scallions. I've had lactation consultants warn me that parsley and mint reduce milk production (sage stops it entirely, FYI, though that's not in this recipe), so since I'm nursing right now I've removed those from the recipe. And I've also added back in the olive oil. I tripled the avocado. And I use chicken broth instead of vegetable broth, because that is what I usually have on hand.

This salad is ultra-flavorful and tangy (and a new favorite). I think you'll like it, too. (I would like to include a photo of the salad here instead of just the ingredients, but I took these pictures with my phone, and can we all agree that the iPhone was not made for food photography? So if you want to see what this salad looks like (believe me: you do), check out the images on Fat Free Vegan. They're drool-worthy.)

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International Quinoa Salad, for The Lazy Cook

Quinoa:

1 1/2 cups quinoa, rinsed very well
3 cups water
1 clove or 1 tsp garlic, minced or pressed
1/2 tsp. sea salt

Vegetables:

1 large cucumber, peeled, seeded, and diced
2 medium-large tomatoes, finely chopped
1 cup cooked corn kernels
2 1/2 ripe avocados, peeled, pitted, and diced
1/2 ripe avocado, peeled, pitted and sliced

Dressing:

1/4 cup lime juice
3 tablespoons chicken broth (or vegetable broth, if that is what you have)
1/2 teaspoon salt, or to taste (optional)
1/8 teaspoon ground pepper
1 clove garlic, pressed or minced

QUINOA
Cooking quinoa is very simple - a lot like cooking rice. To cook it on the stove, bring the water to a boil and add in the quinoa, garlic and salt. Stir. Return to a boil, then reduce the heat to low and put a lid on the pot. Remove from heat after 20 minutes and allow to cool. Try not to eat it straight from the pot.

VEGETABLES
Combine all of the diced vegetables in a large bowl. Add the quinoa and mix gently. I usually add it straight from the pot, because I'm not only a lazy cook, I'm an impatient cook.

DRESSING
Stir the dressing ingredients together and pour over the salad. Mix well. Susan refrigerates hers until chilled, but I usually don't bother and serve it lukewarm-ish. If you want to be fancy, or to cover up the fact that you ate half the salad before serving it (oops!), garnish the top with avocado slices.

Maybe the best part about this salad - besides how delicious it is - is that it's very filling and really low in fat/calories. So you can pretty much eat as much as you want without feeling guilty. Which makes me The Lazy, Impatient and Indulgent Cook.

[If you're uncertain where to buy quinoa, I'd check your local Whole Foods-type store. I also just saw it in the bulk section of my neighborhood Kroger.]

Freezer Cleanout Challenge

2010-02-15T21:40:57Z

Last week, I read about the Pantry Cleanout Challenge and thought: Hey. I should do that.

And then I forgot.

But when a reader commented that she recently cleaned out her freezer and fed her family of four for the next month, plus spent only $100 at the grocery store on items like dairy and fresh produce, I knew I had to do it, too. And this time I didn’t forget.

So this weekend I emptied out my freezer, took an inventory of every item, and re-organized it all. It was a little embarrassing to discover I had more than 15 pounds of pork, turkey, chicken and beef – that is: the meat in our freezer weighs as much as our daughter – plus bag upon bag of frozen veggies, fruits, cheeses and puff pastry dough, as well as three pounds of butter. Seriously, who am I? Paula Deen?

]]> This morning I glanced over my freezer inventory and made an entrée list that I think will last the next five weeks (since there’s just two of us, we generally always have leftovers – I’m incapable for cooking for two):

International Quinoa Salad (I’m using up fresh produce before digging into the freezer)
Southwestern Tostadas
Turkey Tacos
Cranberry Pork Roast
Shepherd’s Pie
Spaghetti
Dijon Pork Medallions
Quiche Lorraine
Chili
Chicken Pot Pie (speaking of Paula Deen, hers is my favorite recipe)
Pork Fried Rice
Enchilada Casserole (idea stolen from Nicole)
Breakfast Quiche
Pork Chops
Swedish Meatballs

I’ll try to post pictures and recipes as I go through this list, because these dishes are so fabulous that you should have them in your repertoire, too.

So: who’s with me? Are you doing a pantry or freezer cleanout challenge? Or have you recently finished one? (And if so: do you have recipes to share?)

Pinching Pennies

2010-02-12T13:22:35Z

For the past week, I've been staying up late reading a ridiculous number of frugal blogs. This is quite a feat for me because I'm typically falling over with exhaustion by 9pm. I don't really ever talk about money on this blog, but it's something that is persistently on my mind, especially since Rayah came into our family. First the medical bills piled up (which are now paid off, thankfully). Next there was that home renovation we began nearly two years ago. That home renovation that took over our lives.

It's kind of like - and bear with me, because I haven't eaten anything yet - when you go to a Chinese buffet, and that Pineapple Fried Rice tastes awesome, but you think you might also sample the Sesame Chicken. And the Spring Rolls. And the Mongolian Beef. And maybe some Dan Dan Noodles. And whoa - those Garlic Snap Peas - I bet those are good. And then you just can't resist the Mango soft-serve ice cream. With sprinkles. And maybe a cherry. That's what renovating your house is like. Or, that's what renovating our house has been like. Like an over-indulgent Chinese buffet.

Nothing we've done has felt indulgent, of course. But in retrospect, maybe we should have tackled it differently. We scraped the ceilings. We re-textured the walls. We painted. We ripped out the floors. We tore off the baseboards and the trim. We removed a wall here, we built a laundry room there. We installed tile in the kitchen. We're scheduled to install hardwood floors this month. And even though we've tried to do as much as possible ourselves (read: I never knew what a handyman Roger was until we bought this house - he's worked so hard on it!), we've paid an unreal amount to contractors to do the hard parts. And now I'm left looking at our checkbook, thinking: How did we get here? How can we get back to where we were? What changes can I make to our budget?

]]> And since reading these frugal blogs (to name a few: Money Saving Mom, Surviving the Stores, Kingdom First Mom, Mommy Snacks, WithPurpose and Bargain Briana, though I've been following a rabbit trail through these sites, and there are so, so many more), I've been inspired to make changes in both our budgeting and my grocery shopping. Now, I'm not a clothes horse, so there's really nothing to change there. I've always been a bit of a deal finder, but not when it comes to grocery shopping. And these women - they do magical things with coupons. One even went so far as to say that she never pays out of pocket for things like diapers, household cleaners, makeup, hair products, etc - the coupons take care of it all. Another said that she saves thousands - THOUSANDS! - every year by couponing. (Did you know that is a verb? Couponing? Because it is.)

I haven't yet figured out all their secrets. I feel like I'm doing good if I just remember to take my grocery list to the store - forget toting along coupons, too! But I'm trying to make an effort. Last night I dutifully clipped and filed my coupons. I even bid on coupons on eBay, like a pro! I made a grocery list. I want to go through my pantry and freezer and see what recipes I can put together without re-purchasing items I already own, since I generally forget what I already have on hand. I want to figure out how I create more $5 Dinners, rather than what I'm currently making: $15-$25 Dinners.

I want to be less overwhelmed with the frugality of these bloggers. I want to make smarter decisions when shopping. And I'm determined to make it work. So if you've got tips for me, I'd love to hear them. What do you do to stretch your dollars further?

Tickled Pink

2010-02-10T13:48:09Z

Rayah was born with a head full of hair, so I've had fun over the last several months buying bows of all colors and coordinating them with her outfits. Since I was traveling to Nashville with Rayah, my mother-in-law flew in town to hang out and spend a little time with her newest granddaughter, too. While we were dressing her for the first day, Mom turned to Rayah and said, "I think your Mommy thinks you're a doll!"

Which, yes. Yes I do. She's a total doll, and I love dressing her up in sweet clothes with accessories to match. Baby clothes are just too much fun! One of the bloggers I met at the conference, Lindsey of The Pleated Poppy, gave Rayah the precious headband pictured above. Isn't it cute on her? Rayah only has a couple other headbands, and somehow neither are pink (one of the colors she wears most often, besides blues, purples and reds), so we're particularly thrilled with this newest addition to her hair accessories wardrobe.

Doll, indeed.

Baby-Wearin' Mama

2010-02-08T16:32:11Z

Last night I arrived home from attending Blissdom, entirely worn out from a fun-filled weekend of learning and networking with other bloggers. I attended BlogHer last year as an enormously pregnant woman, so this was my first time to attend a conference with baby in tow. And while it was a little extra effort, it was the most awesome experience ever.

Most of the the first day, I wore Rayah in my Moby sling - an 18-foot long piece of fabric that wraps Rayah securely against me. And until now, it's been my favorite sling. But this is the problem: since giving birth, my internal thermostat has heated up. I've changed from a woman who curls up in a blanket mid-summer (in Texas!) to someone who wears t-shirts in 60-degree weather. So having an 18-foot piece of fabric wrapped around (and around, and around) me gets kind of...hot.

That, and Rayah really dislikes being in a sling of any kind if I'm sitting down. (Does anyone else have this issue? Is it just Rayah?) When I was sitting during one of the sessions, Rayah was usually sitting on my lap playing or lying on a blanket, playing (I mean, as much as five-month-olds play. This mostly involved dropping her toy and looking around her). If she got fussy, we'd step out into the hallway for a minute until she calmed down. The third time I stepped out into the hallway, a MomBlogger I'd been talking to earlier in the day followed me out. I was Having Issues, and she was there to help.

See, Jessie also works for DittanyBaby.com, a company that makes and sells the Mei Tai sling. She followed me into the hallway, sling in hand. While I held Rayah, Jessie showed me how to wear the sling. And then? Then she told me to that I could HAVE the sling. You guys! This sling is magical!

First: it is not hot, because it has simple straps that hold it in place, not 18 feet of fabric.

Second: Two minutes later, Rayah was asleep. And she STAYED asleep for the rest of her naptime. And then everyone commented on the magicalness of a baby who slept. EVEN AFTER I SAT DOWN. (!)

I wore the sling the rest of the conference, and have been wearing it again since I've been home. Jessie, you're an angel, and I'm an official Mei Tai convert. Thank you so, so much for all your help throughout the weekend!

As for all of the other amazing women I met over the weekend, I'll be linking them here soon. I love having new additions in my feed reader!

More Than I Imagined

2010-02-05T15:49:06Z

The other day a friend said: "I remember when I stayed up all night on purpose…now it's just painful." And I couldn't sum up my experience as a new mother who tries to Do It All better. I am awake every morning around by 5am because Rayah has sooooo much she wants to say, she can't wait for daylight. So she wakes up, lies in her crib and babbles, and then falls back asleep. And that's pretty much how my days go untll 9pm, when I'm falling over myself to get in bed. Since Rayah came along, my life has been so busy. So exhausting. So full, in the most awesome way I could ever imagine.

When we had Rayah, I was concerned I would struggle with baby blues. I expected it. I prepared for it. And I feel so, so blessed that so far, it has not been a part of my story as a mother. Roger and I wholeheartedly agree that our daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to us. She's so fun, so lively, so curious. She's beautiful, and she's smart. It's been so fun watching her grow, watching her learn to bat at toys, and then grab at them, and now she's putting them in her mouth. EVERYTHING goes in Rayah's mouth: toys, stuffed animals, burp cloths, anything within her reach. I love it when she locks her eyes on me and smiles, that wide-open, toothless, dimpled smile.

I realize that every parent feels this way, or I hope that every parent feels this way. Because becoming a mom has been the greatest privilege of my life. Any doubts that I might have once had about whether I wanted to become a mother have been erased, and now I'm realizing that this is the role I was created for. And that just makes it that much sweeter.

Rayah and I are attending BlissDom10 this weekend!

No, Rayah, There Isn't A Santa Claus

2009-12-10T01:43:11Z

When I learned Santa Claus wasn't real, I was crushed. It was December. I was in third grade. That was the only year I rode the bus home from school, and I mostly didn't mind, except there was one girl on that bus, Brittany, whose sole mission seemed to be focused on making my life miserable.

I lived in the country, which meant that the bus ride was a long one for me, full of stops in town before we headed out my farm-to-market road. But she also lived out in the country, farther out than I lived, and so I had to endure her the entire ride. She was a year or two older, and the only thing I remember about her was her dirty blonde hair and how she mocked me and taunted me.

Now, listen - I realize this really isn't all that bad. But in my eight-year-old world, it pretty much was the worst thing ever. And to top it off, on that December afternoon, she was insisting that Santa wasn't real.

I had asked before, and my parents had always encouraged me to believe in Santa Claus. But this day - this day was different - my mom gave in and broke the news to me as gently as she could. It devastated me. Devastated. Oh!, how I cried. And cried. And cried.

Before having a child, I didn't think much about what I would teach my own children concerning Santa. Now that we have Rayah, I can't stop thinking about it. Granted, she's only three months old - I've got a couple years before I need to navigate that conversation. But it's already keeping me awake at night.

Roger and I intend to teach Rayah that Santa Claus is not real, but that he is a fun tradition we participate in every year. The part that stumps me is this: How do we teach Rayah not to be someone else's Brittany? I want my daughter to be an honest child, but I don't want her to crush someone else in her pursuit of the truth. How do we do that? Is it even possible?

What did your parents teach you about Santa Claus? Or, if you have kids, what have you taught them?

Confessions

2009-12-04T17:52:11Z

I just sucked on my daughter's pacifier, to see what the appeal was. I still haven't figured it out.