Gemma
February 24, 2010
I read a book tonight.
Well, that's not fair. I read one-half of a book tonight, and it was more than I needed to read. Halfway into the second chapter, I skipped ahead to the end. I read the last chapter. And satisfied by that, I skipped to the middle and read a few chapters.
Typically, I don't skip around in books. I read them straight-through, the way we're taught to do it, the order in which society expect us to to do it.
But this book...this book was different.
* * * * *
There are lots of things I don't really talk about on this blog, and sexual abuse is one of them. I have a lot of thoughts about sexual abuse, a lot of experience helping women grow through their own hurts. For the past several years I have led self-help support groups for women in the Dallas metroplex.
* * * * *
Last week, I received a press release about a controversial book, asking if I was interested in reviewing it. Typically, those press releases find their way into my trash can before I can get past the greeting -- but this one, for whatever reason -- I read. Then I responded. And today the book arrived in the mail.
* * * * *
In all fairness, I knew what this book was about before I started reading it. I knew that it was about sexual abuse. I also knew that the author was victimized as a young girl. And though this story is represented as fictional, I can tell you that it's not. This is a woman's story. It may not be the author's story, but that doesn't mean that it's any less real.
To Meg Tilly, the author: Gemma made me want to vomit. It is too graphic, the detail too accurate, the emotions too spot-on. That is a compliment to you as an author, to your ability to portray the way so many sexual abuse victims shut down, process emotions, trust false beliefs that are fed to them by their abusers.
This book is not recommend for individuals under 15. I am almost 32 years old. This book -- it haunts me, as many stories of sexual abuse do.
Admittedly, I did not read the book in its entirety. But I read enough. What I read turned my stomach. It got me angry. I wasn't sure if I want to throw up or punch a wall. Because this was a true story, even if you don't know the name of the woman it happened to. But I do. Her name is Amy. Her name is Jennifer. Her name is Sondra, or Carolyn, or Jeanine, or Marie. She's any woman. She's one in six women.
To be honest, I'm not angry with Meg Tilly for telling a story that needs to be told. Too many people talk about sexual abuse as though it is a taboo subject. I'm revolted that this story even exists. I'm repulsed by those whose sadistic natures rule them and attempts to ruin the lives of their victims. I'm angry for Gemma, and I'm angry for every woman I personally know, whose lives have been touched by pedophiles and rapists and molesters.
To every woman whose story can be found in Gemma's pages, even to the slightest degree, know this: There is a way out. It is possible to heal, to recover, to move on with your life. Even if it doesn't seem that way in the moment.
Comments
I hear you, I would be unable to read this book.
Posted by: Bobbi Janay | February 25, 2010 10:34 AM
There's one in every country, all around the world. Girls are killed in India, just because sons carry on the 'family name'. It's SICK.
Posted by: ki | February 27, 2010 10:49 AM