Super-Size Me
August 06, 2009
This is me three weeks ago.
It all started when I was in the self-checkout grocery line six weeks ago. The store employee was watching me, and when I turned to leave, she asked how far along I was. I looked down at my belly, proud of my bump, and said “Twenty six weeks.” Her eyes widened. She looked down at my stomach again.
“Are you having twins?”
My face wrinkled as I glanced down, wondering where she was going with this. Isn’t it true that mothers don’t show as much with their first? Because I didn’t think my bump was all that big. “Twins? No. Just one. Our first.” It turns out her daughter had twins. And that when she was 26 weeks, she was about the same size as me. And that her twins were each over seven pounds at birth. I chit-chatted with her for a while, silently wondering whether that meant I was going to give birth to a 14-pound baby, and questioning how much I should believe what she told me. I mean, how could she really remember exactly what her daughter looked like at 26 weeks? I can’t even remember what I looked like last week!
After that exchange, something strange began happening. People everywhere were acknowledging my stomach. They opened doors for me, and offered to carry things for me, held elevators for me, and asked me questions about our baby, even how pregnancy was treating me. Some just stared. Others have avoided me, like they’re afraid my pregnancy is contagious. I haven’t even started waddling yet! (Personally, I hope that I never quite get there, but when I’m really close to the end and it’s like a bowling ball has dropped between my legs, waddling may be inevitable.) I’ve not yet had a stranger reach out and touch my stomach, though I like it when friends do. In the mall I watched with amusement as a little girl walked toward me, leaning back and pushing out her own stomach as she passed, mimicking my protruding belly.
And then last week while I was out shopping with my mom, a woman told me that my stomach was the same size as her daughter’s … who was 38 weeks pregnant. I was a little past 31 weeks and beginning to develop a complex.
When it started to become obvious that I was pregnant, friends warned me about groping strangers. I was prepared for that. They never warned me about abstract judgments strangers would make about the size of my stomach. Some people think it is too big. Others think it is too small. My doctor just thinks it is cute! (Or so he tells me, but he has incredibly gracious bedside manner, so I realize it’s entirely possible he tells all of his patients that.) When I confessed to my doctor that I’d been receiving a lot of remarks lately about the apparent planetary size of my abdomen, he laughed and told me, “The next time someone makes a remark like that, ask them where they got their OB degree.” His point was, everyone’s body grows and changes differently. Our babies do, too. Every woman carries her baby differently, and I’m carrying mine all out front. He measured my stomach, just as he does at every visit, and determined that I am measuring just a tiiiiiinnnnnyyyy bit ahead of the average, giving us a medically-necessary excuse to do another sonogram. Which means insurance will pay for it, and I’ve wanted one anyway, so SCORE.
That sonogram is a week from today, and will be our first in 15 weeks. Roger and I are so excited to see our daughter, to check her development, to see if she's growing hair yet or if we'll get a better shot of her profile, to see her tiny body wriggling around, full of life. A lot has changed in 15 weeks! Back then, I wasn’t even wearing maternity pants yet! Of course, half of the shirts I wear are still non-maternity, I just think they fit better (No, seriously. They do fit better. And I check every morning to make sure they still reach over my belly and then some, which is kind of important.), though now that I think about it, maybe THAT is why so many people think I’m farther along than I actually am. From the back, I don’t look pregnant, but when I turn around, it’s like my stomach yelled SURPRISE!!!! a little too loudly, a little too boldly for everyone else in the room.
So I guess my point is this: if you’re pregnant and you want insurance to pay for extra sonograms, wear pre-pregnancy clothes. And then steel yourself for the onslaught of comments other mothers will make. (But the way that pre-preg shirt hugs your new curves? You really do look adorable.)
Comments
I think is just the closer you get to the end size, accompanied with the hormones makes everyone seem like they are judging your belly. When most are just curious about your pregnancy. Enjoy your sonogram the late ones are fun she will no longer look like skelator(casey used to say that about Ian's sonograms) and will look like a baby.
Posted by: Bobbi Janay | August 6, 2009 09:51 PM
When I was about 28-30 weeks pregnant, I went to my niece's birthday party and played with her in one of those air castles and people thought I was going to put myself into labor by jumping with her. And then I had my baby two months later. People are crazy about judging baby bumps. Especially on smaller women, just like you say. It must shock them.
Posted by: Jessica | August 6, 2009 10:55 PM
I think your baby bump looks just perfect - You are adorable! Enjoy!
Posted by: Christine Steendahl | August 6, 2009 11:13 PM
You look so huggable!!!
Posted by: Ki | August 6, 2009 11:23 PM
As the mother of 2 10lb plus babies, (17 months apart) I think you look tiny, but perfect! People are funny...by the time mine were born, people were gasping when they saw me coming. Enjoy the new ultrasound!!!
Posted by: Roz | August 7, 2009 08:00 AM
I'm sure you look adorable. Or cute, or however it is you want to look. I got many of the same comments when I was pregnant. Like you, I'm on the petite side and carried it all in the belly, so I did look rather large in front. But I can see that you are embracing every little part of this pregnancy, and that is all that matters.
Posted by: nicole | August 7, 2009 10:25 AM
I think you look amazing in that picture!! I love that swimsuit. I am so scared of swimsuits that I never bought one.
Don't worry, those peoples' daughter might have been like 5 feet tall. I think when we are taller we tend to stand out more.
And hey, I have been waddling for about 3 weeks now and I'm BEHIND you time-wise...also can't wear ANYTHING non-maternity for the last month at least! So never fear about those things! ;-)
Posted by: Jenny B | August 7, 2009 12:34 PM
My husband promised me that if and when I get pregnant, he'll get me a custom-made T-shirt that says, "Touch it and die." Or something like that. I'm going to have at least 7 made, one for everyday of the week.
Love your doc's answer! I'm going to remember that. And yep, I totally agree with what everyone else said: you look great, just like any mom-to-be would.
When I had a weekly column, I devoted one week to writing about the things that women don't want, including strangers and even friends and family who feel it their right to make judgments about our bodies, personal lives, marital status, etc. That one received way more feedback than most of my other columns!
Salut,
Marjorie
Posted by: My Inner French Girl | August 7, 2009 02:15 PM
I'm 32 weeks today - and I'm getting the "Twins?" question too. I don't worry with it too much because we're all different. I'm jealous over your sonogram - we haven't seen our daughter since I was 21 weeks. Enjoy!!
Posted by: Lori | August 8, 2009 09:15 PM
Oh my gosh!
You.
Look.
Adorable!!!
That's awesome that you're carrying it all in the front. AND that you get a shiny new sonogram!
It sounds like you're handling all the comments really well. Good for you!
Keep these belly pictures coming! ;)
Posted by: my life is brilliant | August 8, 2009 10:09 PM