On Expectations
July 09, 2009
I've tried not talking about babies babies babies OMG pregnancy babies on this blog, and I've failed miserably. I thought this site wouldn't turn into a straight mommyblog, simply because I've always identified so strongly as a lifeblogger. And then it occurred to me: I'm writing nothing at all about my life. Which has kind of turned me into a non-blogger. I plan to continue writing about my life on this site, and right now experiencing pregnancy is part of my life. So. I will write about it.
Being pregnant is nothing like I expected it to be, mostly because my assumptions about gestating were formed by watching movies and reading friends' blogs. I figured I would be like them, those who woke up every morning dry-heaving into the toilet or couldn't keep down more than water and toast. I thought I would be exhausted all the time, or nauseated, or irritable, or overly emotional, or would have strange cravings and food aversions. If you think all pregnancies are like this, I am here to tell you that they aren't. Everything for me has been so simple, something I'm grateful for.
Absolutely nothing in my life has changed, other than my waistband, and even then that didn't really change until I was a little over five months along. I'm closing in on seven months now, and I still wear many pre-pregnancy shirts, because they show off my cute belly instead of drape it like a tent. Or at least that's what I'm assuming they do. If you see me in public and have another opinion, please tell me. Unless you're my husband. (Warning! Warning!)
My reading material has morphed from blogs and magazines to books about parenting philosophies. I love reading about what our daughter is up to each week, whether she's listening to us talk or if she is the length of an English cucumber or if she is opening and closing her eyes. I watch fewer movies and spend more time agonizing over nursery decor - something we still haven't settled on, with no decision looming on the horizon - or comparing the merits of different carseats. Cherry blossoms or Jenn Ski prints? Lightweight or steel-reinforced? I never knew before how difficult these decisions would be!
My favorite part of being pregnant, though, is feeling our daughter move. She's not strong enough yet to hurt, so every time she kicks it's kind of like a ticklish muscle spasm. I love it when Roger sees my stomach ripple when she moves, better yet when he feels her kick. Over Fourth of July weekend we were driving to the lake, and Roger was reading to me from a book. While he was reading, I felt her scoot over toward him as close as she could get, and I'm guessing it was to hear her daddy's voice better. The next day Roger walked into our bedroom and started talking to me, and as soon as she heard him she came alive with soft kicks against my abdomen. Neither of us can get enough of it, of this newness of life within me. I hope we always feel that way.
Without fail, I glance at the clock every time she rolls or stretches or moves, committing the time to memory. I've discovered that she's generally awake every two hours on the even hours, and that may have no relation to what her schedule will be like when she's born, but somehow it makes me feel more prepared. In all honesty, I am totally not prepared. This is unchartered territory for me, having a newborn in my life all the time - it's not even like I can give her back after a few hours - so anything I can do now, however much I am deluding myself into preparedness (and believe me: I have a lot of delusions -- you should just see the schedule I made for her last week!), I welcome.
The one piece of advice we've been given time and time again is this: "Whatever your expectations, throw them out the window. She'll shatter every last one." And I guess that's already true, isn't it? I mean, pregnancy is nothing that I expected it would be, so I suppose parenthood won't be, either.
Comments
I'm totally fine reading about your pregnancy. It's part of your life and I think you are more than entitled to talk about it (despite how boring we may find it).
You brought back some memories of when my kids were still in the womb. It was amazing to see them move and react even before they were born. I also remember the clueless feeling we had when we came back from the hospital and I gave my wife a "OK, Now what?" look. You'll be surprised of the fact that nature naturally prepares you to be a parent and usually everything turns out ok.
Wish you the best in the next 80 days!
Posted by: Jorge | July 9, 2009 09:00 AM
I loved being pregnant, it was so much fun! But having that little bundle to hug and squeeze and kiss and pinch is like nothing else. Can't wait until I get to snuggle her too!
Posted by: Erica | July 9, 2009 09:13 AM
I hope you know that the piece of advice everyone's given you (which is right on) is meant in a positive way as much as anything else! Having a baby is mind-numbingly hard work in a way that's impossible to anticipate, but it's also amazingly wonderful in a way that you could never have imagined. :-)
Posted by: bethany actually | July 9, 2009 10:13 AM
I completely agree with you. Blogging is supposed to be about your life! :D I could never find anything you blog about to be boring, baby or not. I read your blogs because I care about you and want to know what's going on in your life.
I'm really glad you're choosing to share your experiences with us!
Posted by: Lisa | July 9, 2009 10:42 AM
Are you taking votes? I'd go with Jenn Ski, personally.
And as everyone else is saying - please, blog about your baby. She's a huge part of your life, and I'm sure there's lots of fascinating things to share.
Posted by: Lia | July 9, 2009 11:04 AM
Don't feel bad about blogging about the baby. It's part of your life, and isn't that why we all read here?
I always loved the fruit and vegetable comparisons. It definitely made going grocery shopping funnier.
Posted by: Jessica | July 9, 2009 12:49 PM
So fun to read your pregnancy experiences, my first one wasn't that long ago! This one is already SO different. Having done this just 15 months ago, I've grown so fast on this one (much to my chagrin), have had morning sickness which I never had w/ Elizabeth, and sheer exhaustion.
Enjoy this time so much. It's a good kind of "cluelessness" for the first-time parent. It is really fun. I don't have as much time to get to do it with our 2nd, but I hope to.
Oh - and go with anything lightweight!!!
Posted by: Amstaff Mom | July 9, 2009 04:25 PM
Love reading about pregnancy. I loved being pregnant. Like you, it was all so easy. In fact, I felt pretty amazing every single day of each pregnancy. The baby movements are what I miss the most. As for baby gear, my practical side says go gender neutral for the big, expensive things, should you be planning to have any more children. As for advice, trust your instincts.
Posted by: nicole | July 10, 2009 04:27 PM
:) I LOVE reading about pregnancy - keep it coming!!!! And what a great post this was. I am SO curious what being pregnant will be like for me... I hear even for the same mom, each pregnancy can be drastically different! Wow. So crazy. And yay!!!!!! for feeling her move around. So cute. :)
Posted by: Courtney | July 10, 2009 11:55 PM
Pregnancy really is the most amazing thing, isn't it? And yes, the movements of baby are simply divine. Nothing else like it in the world.
I didn't know you were expecting! You are just a little ahead of me so you must've of known at the blogger dinner - were you just not divulging yet? ; )
Congratulations!!
P.S. Will I see you at BlogHer?
Posted by: Elaine | July 11, 2009 10:53 PM
I'm so happy for you both! And I love hearing about your insights - the seem so real and I can literally hear the excitement in your "voice" when you write. You guys are going to be wonderful parents.
Posted by: TUWABVB | July 12, 2009 11:07 PM
Your description of your pregnancy makes me want to be pregnant again. I wasn't blogging when I was pregnant - although I did occasionally write on babyfit.com If you haven't checked them out you should, I loved the community of moms there. I am so happy to hear that your pregnancy is smooth sailing!
Posted by: Renee | July 19, 2009 09:02 PM
It may be uncharted territory, but I have no doubt you will make a fabulous Mother. It must be amazing to feel her moving inside you. Precious moments indeed!
Posted by: Vanessa | July 22, 2009 08:02 AM