Chirky

Dude, epidurals are awesome. I was in labor for twenty-six hours but only felt the first half, so I know of what I speak. Also, for me, giving birth in a hospital was probably the #1 thing that alleviated my fears about childbirth. I think women who homebirth are brave, brave souls, but I can't imagine doing something so major without a team of professionals around me.

My best friend just gave birth this past weekend (no drugs) and I was her labour coach. It was amazing.
I however, birthed two babies with an epidural and that was what was right for me. With my first, the doctor wrongly tried to push her 'go natural' beliefs on me and I told her not to bother.
Whatever you decide makes no difference at the end of the day when you're holding that little bundle. :)
Best of luck!

I agree, all that matters is that you have a healthy, baby girl. However, I wish that I had been able to labor and deliver Michael vaginally - it's kind of like a rite of womanhood. I sit around with my other mommy friends who talk about their deliveries (always with nothing but fondness for the experience and epidurals) and I don't have anything to contribute except that having a cesarean hurts, just in a different way.

Coming from a mom of 4 who has experienced both forms of delivery, for me it was the easiest to have the C Section. (The first two deliveries... well.... poke your ears and sing LALALALALA to yourself) Both kids got stuck (I don't dilate completely.... by the time the doctors figured it out.... too late!! ) Combined with a used to be small pelvis...-- I had epis with both. The first that was a horror story from welll... LALALALA.... The next two I delivered via C section, much much much (did I mention much) more smooth (for the baby and I, let alone the poor doc) - So for me, the choice would be a c section. If I had to deliver "back in the day" with no modern meds..... I probably would have died.

Hope this wasn't too much for you Jess, I know that I am one of the FEW who have such a combo of problems for a difficult delivery. My sister Jennifer’s delivery went a loooottt smoother. (3 pushes and the baby was out…. Sooo jealous!)

Would you like to hear a not-scary labor and delivery story? :-) I became aware of my contractions around 6am, went to the hospital around 11am (I was 4 weeks early so my doctor told me to come in and get checked out), labored for a couple of hours with no drugs, had some sort of drug that causes extreme relaxation during transition so I basically slept between contractions for 90 minutes or so, then pushed for about 5 minutes and had my daughter at 4:38. I had discussed with my doctor beforehand that I wanted to avoid an episiotomy, and he took extra care in easing my daughter out so that I only required one little stitch. Of course there was some pain, but I never needed anything more than ice and Motrin.

I went into labor with the idea that I wanted to do it without an epidural if I could, but knowing that it was an option if I needed it. As it turned out I didn't need it, but I wouldn't have felt bad if I had. (My kid was only 4lbs 5oz; I have the feeling with a bigger baby I'd have been asking for drugs a lot sooner.)

Don't be too scared! Your body was made to do this, and you can do it. You'll be AMAZED at what your body can do over the next year or so. :-)

My first two kids were born in hospitals, and I have at least some regrets about the way each of those births played out. (To be totally honest and fair, I got what I wanted in the end from each, healthy babies, no c-sections.)

I have zero regrets about the way my third was born. In the front seat of my husbands car, as he ran a red light making a left hand turn. (To be totally honest and fair, I would have been incredibly more freaked out had that been my first kid.)

I would never tell anyone that birthing in the hospital is best. I would never tell anyone that birthing at home is best. Whatever makes you feel comfortable is the best.

(And about the tearing/epi thing...it's not that big a deal. Really. I tore some with all three, and aside from some serious swelling with #1 (that happened *before* the baby tore anything), it's just not that painful, not even to go to the bathroom. And the antibiotic shot I got in my leg with #3 hurt more than getting stitched up with a local.)

Ooh, birth stories. First son: I had my water broken around 9 AM, started actively pushing at 1 PM and he was born at 1:30. The only drug I took was something for my back pain that didn't really kill the pain, but made me relaxed enough not to care. I tore but stitching it up was about the same as labor and only took a few minutes.

Second son: I started having mild contractions at about 2 PM. We went and walked a bit until they were five minutes apart, then went to the hospital. I made them break my water about 6:15--I didn't particularly want to be in labor all night--and he was born at 6:46. I tore with that one, too, but getting the stitches wasn't a big deal. Oh, and contractions hurt worse than pushing. To me, anyway.

For me personally, I wouldn't be able to have a baby at home. My sister is a NICU nurse and I don't think I could do it after hearing some of the stories she's told me. However, you have to do what's going to work best for you. I hope you have a good birthing experience whatever you choose.

1. Get the epidural.

2. If the epidural doesn't work, and they offer you take #2, DO IT!

Oh my epidural was magical. My doctor was so hot and the experience was perfect. I was able to sleep before I had to start pushing. I don't think I could have had the strength in the morning had I not had the rest.

I do look at home births and wonder if I could do it because it does seem so empowering, but I know I couldn't do it.

I love your blog! I've had several friends do the at home/midwife thing and they swear by it. But I'm thinking I'm with you (when I get pregnant, anyway). Modern medicine is the way to go! Hey, and tell me where I can get that military wive's cookbook - I think it would be fun for Krista.
Love ya!

I know nothing about child birth, but I was born in the back of a subaru on the way to the hospital in a no u-turn...Not ideal. :)

Everyone is different, and you will know what your body needs and wants when the time comes. I BOUGHT that "business of being born" video when it came out and was all for having a natural birth. But as you know, things didn't go as I had PLANNED. Just keep an open mind, trust your instincts, lean on Roger for support, and ENJOY every minute. You will have your own unique birth experience whether it involves a tub at home, drugs or no drugs, a surgical table, etc. I am so excited for you!! On another note, did you get to see Ricki Lake have a baby in her bathtub??? That freaked Clint out. :)

From someone who had 2 vaginal births of a 10#1oz baby and a 10#11oz baby I have 2 things for you: perineal massage and epidural. Make sure your labor nurse is massaging your perineum throughout your labor to help it stretch and minimize tearing. I had no tearing with the first baby and only needed 1 stitch with the second--no episiotmy.

I am right there with you, Jes, on the whole fear thing.

I can't wait to hear your story. I'm sure that whatever route you go will be the best route for you, Roger, and your baby girl.

I want to go natural. I have several friends who didn't use meds, whether at home, a birthing center, or in a hospital, and they all say it's not as painful as everyone makes it out to be. It's up to you, how you handle the pain. I've also heard several women who experienced homebirths AND hospital births that they much preferred the homebirth. The more interventions you have, the longer and more complicated the process can become. And recovery from tearing is quicker and easier than recovery from C-section.

I highly recommend the French documentary, The First Cry (La Premier Cri). A M A Z I N G. Women delivering simultaneously in 12 different cultures. There's a place in Mexico where you can deliver in a pool with dolphins. I would do that if I could!

In a pool with dolphins? Really? Why? Seriously, what is the purpose of that expect to say you did?

I'm one of those who swears by the natural thing. There are precious few completely primitive things left to experience on this earth and I wanted to experience it. Had Munchkin in a birthing center with a midwife. Next one will be born at home. Having used a midwife for my first birth, there is no going back for me! It felt so...well, natural.

Women gave birth for millions of years before it became a medical procedure and I think they pretty much had it figured out. I realize it's not for everyone, but I felt so empowered after giving birth, quite like I should be wearing a leotard and cape (except NOT, what with my saggy tummy and all).

Best of luck! I hope your birth experience is exactly what you hope for!

I have a LOT to say on this subject. And I just started reading you today, so I feel like we only just met. So I will try not to go overboard with the soap boxing.

But I wanted to tell you that labor and delivery was awesome. Think rock climbing. Rock climbing hurts and is hard and takes concentration and preparation and a lot of intense work and effort. But the pay off, when you make it to the summit...unimaginable. And people call it a sport, as in past time. Having a baby was like that for me, only better, ‘cause I didn’t have to repel off an EFFing mountain afterward.

My next one will be at home, barring complications, and I can’t wait to do it again. If you choose to try it natural, if you choose to get the epi right away, or anything in between just do what feels right and let the fear go.

Hey Jes...

I had both girls in a hospital with a midwife. And I am proud to say I labored and delivered both babies drug-free. It hurt alot but it's pain with a purpose. The recovery time after a natural delivery is so much quicker. My advice would be to read as much as you can and make an informed decision about how you want your labor and delivery to go. But, more than anything, be flexible and if it doesn't happen exactly as you planned, you still get to hold your daughter at the end of it all.

I did all my deliveries before 33 weeks, but I can tell you this. I have one heck of a high pain tolerance. My cramps hurt me each month so much more than labor and delivery. I remember them waking me up to push (I did hypnobirthing with the first) and hearing a woman down the hall screaming like they were hacking her to pieces. I freaked out. The nurse informed me that the woman yelling was only 3cm and they were actually going to send her home! I was terrified of an epidural with that one.

Fast forward 2 years, and I had an emergency c-section with the twins at 28 weeks. Placenta previa had made sure that we were aware of the necessity of a section. When they woke me up to check my dilation (3rd round of labor, couldn't stop this one) I was 6cm with bulging water. I was terrified of the epidural. Got a spinal, and it was awesome!

In comparison of the two, I much prefer the vaginal birth, but ultimately, this is how my birth plan goals read: "Two live births". Seriously. Nurse thought I was being a smarta$$. I didn't care how they got here, just so they did.

Something I learned in nursing school: Usually, the head is in the birth canal if you are tearing or if you need an episiotomy. This has the blessed effect of NUMBING the peri area. They generally will give the numbing shot then if it looks like you are going to need to be cut or tear. Also, the endorphins are generally running so high, I have seen women get sewn up without any numbing agent.

Don't get hung up on it all having to go a certain way. If you do, no matter what, you are setting yourself up for regrets in my personal and professional experience.