Lie to Me
February 25, 2009
I recently installed Google Analytics on my site, and I have to tell you: I am not impressed. Maybe it is because I'm no longer writing daily entries (shame on me, I know), or maybe it is because these extended, unannounced absences are really taking that big of a toll on this site, but there has been a noticeable drop in my stats lately. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not really one to watch my stats all that much. I'll pop in maybe once a month, just to see what's going on, but I really just don't have time to research it, as horrible as that may be considering that I work for a blogging community. And my entire job revolves around blogs. You'd think I'd take all of the knowledge and expertise I've picked up around these circles and at these conferences and implement it. I mean, what's the purpose of going to all these seminars about building traffic and writing better if I don't actually do it, you know?
Anyway, so I recently installed Google Analytics on my site, and I really actually kind of hate it. Not because it doesn't do the job - it's just that it does its job a little too well. I've been used to statcounter.com for the past four-and-one-half years. Statcounter is like that best friend that tells you that you look great in that low-cut dress, you know the one, even if it is two sizes too small. It inflates your pride a little, is what I'm saying, or it does mine, anyhow, and massages your shoulders while smugly handing you a champagne flute and encouraging you to toast your success.
Google Analytics, on the other hand, is like that best friend who is always maybe a little too honest. It's the friend who tells you that your size 6 pencil skirt should really be a size 10, and that you've got rolls and bulges where you never knew they existed. It hands your pride to you on a platter, flaws exposed, gruffly suggesting that you should eat a breath mint before exhaling within a five-foot radius of its delicate nostrils, and would you mind changing from that bulky seafoam sweater to a plum cashmere v-neck? It'd really enhance your complexion. And your figure.
All that to say, I kind of miss statcounter, with all its flawed, beefy reports and gentle, pride-soothing numbers. Which possibly means that I don't care all too much when you lie to me, as long as you can make it sound believable. So I'm thinking it would be a good idea if Google Analytics could create two buttons for search results. The first would generate reports as it currently does. The second would offer just a little massage, just a little champagne, a space that is just a little pull away from reality. And that space, I've found, is exactly where I want to live.
Comments
We do have to talk about your extended, unannounced absences. What's up with that?! Okay, we've had our talk. I hope you've learned a very valuable lesson.
Posted by: Dingo | February 26, 2009 01:43 AM
Lie to me! Haha!
And don't worry, what's a few numbers? You're as well loved as always. :)
Posted by: ki | February 26, 2009 08:03 AM
Note to self: do not ever get Google Analytics because my fragile ego will shatter.
You're in my blog reader, but I'll click over here for new posts now. It's what I would want you to do for me, and I am all about the golden rule.
Posted by: Jessica | February 26, 2009 09:57 AM
The unexplained absences make our hearts grow all the more fonder for you! I need to educate myself on this Google thing - I think it's very important to know how my 10 readers are accessing my site! :)
Posted by: TUWABVB | February 26, 2009 10:33 AM
Oh I had the same experience...I liked it before when I had this wonderful illusion that people were reading...Then after Google Analytics I realized it was 15 people. So now I say "hello 15 people" sometimes.
Posted by: Jenny B | February 26, 2009 02:16 PM
I love this. And missed you.
I HATE Analytics. HATE. Because, unlike you, I'm a crazy stat checker, and I want to know EVERYTHING that's going on with my site. And when someone conducts a certain Google search, I want to know EXACTLY where it's coming from. Don't even act like you can't do that, Google. You can. We both know it.
Posted by: Cautionary Girl | February 26, 2009 02:53 PM
Love Google Analytics - It gives me useful information on what day, time that I need to get in touch with most my readers. These are my stats by the day of the week.
Sun 845
Mon 3795
Tue 4040
Wed 4067
Thu 3580
Fri 3168
Sat 843
Office Supplies Price Comparison Tool
Posted by: Mark | February 26, 2009 04:53 PM
Love the "lie to me" button, brilliant. I never check my stats because it just makes me feel all weird and work-y, like "Oh should I care about this, should I try to get better traffic and be all diligent", like it's a job or something. And then I have to tell myself no dude, it's just a blog, get over it. And that conversation is just annoying so that's why I never check. I guess my button would be "Ignorance is bliss".
Posted by: skiplovey | February 26, 2009 06:14 PM
This is funny, I just told an seo-strategist yesterday that Googly Analytics was hurting my feelings...he got a good laugh...I wasn't kidding.
Posted by: Jerri Ann | February 28, 2009 08:31 PM
Interesting, I didn't know about Google Analytics. Now I will be forced to try it because I always suspect that Sitemeter and Statcounter are counting MY visits as real ones and I have a feeling I don't have as many hits as I think I do.
Posted by: Mauigirl | March 1, 2009 02:21 PM
I say skip the View Report button and just provide the "lie to me". That keeps the guilt down if it isn't even an option.
Posted by: texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvana | March 1, 2009 08:19 PM
I've been ridiculously out of the blog worls lately. Some of my blogs, I was last caught up reading in NOVEMBER.
Yours is one of the three or four that I have kept up with. I have every intention of picking up all the others again, but if it makes you feel better, yours is on the list of blogs I CANNOT fall behind on. :)
See if Google Analytics tells you THAT!
Posted by: my life is brilliant | March 2, 2009 12:59 PM
Same as Mauigirl, I read this post and immediately tried it. I don't think it's THAT bad. I'm used to people not reading my blog!
BTW, I've been reading this blog since it was still justsayjess at blogspot, so don't pay that much attention to the stats. I think it has to do with you not writing for daaaays. ;)
Posted by: Angie | March 9, 2009 06:41 PM