Knock, knock
January 28, 2009
Hello, my name is Jes and I have irrational fears.
Several times a day, I hear noises that sound like someone is knocking on our door. On the way to the entryway, I always glance behind me at the massive wall of windows in the living room, which looks into our backyard. Each time I'm convinced that someone is going to back there, standing around or sitting at our patio table watching me, despite the fact that we have a 10' privacy fence and two locked gates. Sometimes at night I sneak up and BAM! turn on the lights outside to catch whoever might be out there. No one ever is. Thankfully.
From where I stand in the entryway, I am visible through the dining room, where one full-length window and two smaller, chest-high-to-ceiling windows face the front yard. I love natural light so the blinds are always open during the day, which gives away the fact that I am walking around at home. So if I don't open the door, there's always a chance someone will peer in through the windows and see me standing there, very decidedly not answering the door.
Because of this, I've begun sneaking around our house a lot, peeking around corners to make sure no one is actually looking in the windows, then tip-toeing past them. But by the time I get to the door no one is there. This is annoying because I bothered getting up in the first place, risking window exposure for someone who has already left. I am beginning to think that I am crazy, but then I remind myself that the moment I stop with my charades, someone will be looking in my window. It is creepy to imagine, because in my mind the person is always wearing black, carrying a stick to break the window, and has narrow, dark eyes.
I've recently discovered that our ice maker sounds perilously similar to someone knocking on the door. I could just turn off the ice maker, but that is too easy. My brain prefers my quickened pulse and the shock of my heart dropping into my stomach every time I hear the loud, rapping noise. Instead, I'm considering whether I should mount a video camera on my front porch, which I could monitor from my computer. That would be much more convenient, because then I wouldn't have to worry about someone drilling my eyeball out when I peered through the peephole. That, and I can't count on the noise always being my ice maker. Sometimes people really do knock on the door.
Comments
Congrats, you officially sound like a paranoid psycho on your blog today. Maybe we should buy a shotgun so you can relax.
Posted by: Roger | January 28, 2009 02:04 PM
Sweetie, I try. :) But I think a shotgun would just leave a lot of holes in our walls, and you know how much we just paid to have them retextured...
How about a Taser? A hot pink one.
Posted by: Jes | January 28, 2009 02:07 PM
Okay, first of all, THANKS. My husband is heading out of town tonight and I'm spending my first night alone in our 7 month old place.
Second of all, I feel the same way - I think that why the movie "The Stranger" made me crap in pants. SERIOUSLY, I didn't sleep for day and I saw people out of the corner of my eye ALL THE TIME.
Was your tweet yesterday real or not? The guy that knocked on the door and then sat in his car? Or did the ice maker knock on the door and that poor guys was just waiting for someone?
I'm not making fun of you, I swear. :)
Posted by: TUWABVB | January 28, 2009 04:53 PM
TUWABVB: Yes, yes! The tweet was real. Someone was dropping off a few bricks at our house for us to approve (for a remodeling project), and he kept getting out of his car and coming up to the house, and then he just SAT THERE for 10 minutes. In front of our house. Inside his truck. And when he saw me pass by the window, he came up to the house AGAIN.
It was creepy, for sure.
Posted by: chirky | January 28, 2009 05:25 PM
Yea - I would say a guy dropping off bricks is creepy - even if you were expecting him. And I would never second-guess your fear! LOL! Seriously though, "The Strangers" did something to me mentally for a few weeks after we watched it. Even my husband was freaked out a bit. He thought someone had come onto our patio (while we were watching the movie) and blown the candle out in our Jack-O-Latern for no reason. Then we realized the wick had run out. But that was the highest I had ever heard his voice go!
Posted by: TUWABVB | January 28, 2009 06:18 PM
What about some white, semi-sheer curtain that still let in a lot of light but are difficult to see through from the outside? If not curtains, I love the blinds that have a thin layer of sheer material on either side of the blind, like these. Also, I've heard that if the inside of a place is darker than the outside that a person has a harder time seeing in.
Posted by: Chiada | January 28, 2009 06:26 PM
I have been home sick with the flu for the past two days and although Blake has been home sick with me, the ice hitting the windows in that certain creepy way... well, it creeps me out! You are not alone - especially when I'm home alone. Our dog, Gibbs, likes to sneak away from the den to the front of the house and lay facing the door. It freaks me out! He'll sneak away and creep towards the door. I've gone to the lengths of blocking his path so he has to stay in the den with me! Ha!
By the way, drinks lots and lots of OJ and take airborne because... wow... I haven't gotten the flu in 10 years and I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. EVERYone seems to be getting it this year, too. :(
Posted by: Lisa | January 28, 2009 07:17 PM
I am paranoid about privacy, I swear someone is looking at our house all time. We have shades on all our windows and if we didn't I really couldn't relax. It's weird I know.
Posted by: skiplovey | January 30, 2009 11:05 AM
OH HELLO, I RECOGNIZE THAT BRAIN. Although mine always thinks the guy will SHOOT me.
Posted by: Swistle | January 30, 2009 07:42 PM
I'm so glad to know that I'm not alone in the world. Seriously.
Posted by: Suzanne | February 4, 2009 01:46 PM
I've got it all planned out for you:
1) Join facebook.
2) Friend me on facebook.
3) Install a doorbell.
:)
Posted by: my life is brilliant | February 6, 2009 12:40 PM