Chirky: Raising the Bar

You know when you have surgery, and go under anesthetics, and you start to babble and feel loopy just before you're totally knocked out? On Tuesday, I had an epiphany while talking to my doctor:

Doctor: "How are you feeling, Jes?"

Jes: "Drunk."

Doctor (laughing): "Yeah, think of it as going on a date*." (And then trying to ease my mind) "...and we'll take good care of you!"

Jes (foggy): "Uhhh..." (looking around sterile white surgery room) "...I've never been on a date like this before."

Doctor (laughing): "That's probably a good thing."

Jes (struggling to form sentences): "Omigosh, I just had a brilliant idea."

Doctor (exchanging glances with the anesthesiologist in the room): "What's that?"

Jes (slurring): "You should open an anesthetics bar. You know? Instead of alcohol? Because then you wouldn't have a hangover after drinking, but people could still feel drunk, but then you can sober up practically anytime you want - just remove the IV! Isn't that an awesome idea?"

Doctor (laughing as a cover, but probably wishing he'd thought of that before): "I'll have to talk to Dr. Cooper about us going into business together."

Aaaaand then I was out.

But seriously, isn't that a clever idea? It kind of makes me wonder how many other ingenious things I could come up with while pumped full of anesthetics.

* In all fairness, he said something like this, but I can't remember exactly what it was. I was kind of spinning from the drugs at the time.

Comments

You are hysterical! I love it! One of my favorite things about you is you always find the humor in all situations. Love ya sweetie!

Posted by: Holly | October 23, 2008 05:31 PM

So glad I'm not the only one that gets drunk on that stuff! Sorry you had to go through this - I've been thinking about you and I know how hard it is. Keep taking care of yourself.

Posted by: TUWABVB | October 23, 2008 05:48 PM

i told my oral surgeon he was hottttt and that we should go outtttt sometime (he's married). I also cuss like a sailor (you know, moreso than usual) in that stage haha

Posted by: biddy | October 23, 2008 07:08 PM

BRILLIANT IDEA!!!! You know how they have those new little "oxygen bars" now?? Let's replace them with anesthetics bars! And then have big fluffy beds for people to sleep on ( I said SLEEP! No funny business!) LOVE THAT! It is sad that I probably enjoy a nice vicodin more than a shot of tequila because of the whole hangover thing. Plus, people expect you to be all bedridden when you're on painkillers. Basically, my dream.

I hope that you are recovering well and that your spirits are ok. I know it's difficult right now. Hang in there. I am thinking of you!!! Sending love your way!!!!!!

Posted by: Sarah | October 24, 2008 08:35 AM

You totally made me snort and I was not expecting to snort over here today.

Posted by: Jenny, Bloggess | October 24, 2008 10:59 AM

You are on to something here. OMG!

Posted by: texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvana | October 24, 2008 11:30 AM

Too funny. Why has no one made a reality show about this kind of thing? I can see it now: Going Under.

Or maybe they could have a reality show at your anesthetics bar.

The good thing about that stuff is for a day or so after, you get the BEST sleep of your entire life.

I'm glad you're in good spirits. I've been thinking about you and Roger.

Posted by: my life is brilliant | October 24, 2008 12:47 PM

you are too much. but before you open this new venture, don't forget the brooklyn bakery!

Posted by: Nicolle | October 27, 2008 08:19 PM