As I See It - Vol. 1
November 08, 2007
This morning, while lying on my bathroom floor, I thought up a new weekly blog series called As I See It. It’s all about (wait for it, wait for it...) HOW I SEE THINGS. Quite literally.
You see, I woke up this morning at 4:37 a.m. because I had somehow managed to partially throw out my back. I laid in bed for two hours, hoping that if I remained very still, not moving even an inch, the pain would subside and my spine would go back to normal. The thought of being paralyzed and in pain for the next four days sent me rolling off the mattress and limping to the freezer. I grabbed the icy gel pack and made my way to the guest bathroom, where I threw the finger-numbing bundle on the floor and covered it with one of Roger’s t-shirts. And then I laid there, on the frozen pack, staring at the ceiling.
It was kind of boring, lying there for twenty minutes with nothing to occupy my thoughts other than how I thought the Internet might also want to see my ceiling. So I took a picture of it with my camera phone. As I See It was born.
I don’t know why I decided to lie down on the cold, hard bathroom floor and stare at the ceiling. I could have iced my back anywhere, perhaps somewhere more comfortable (and warm), like my couch. Or in bed. But lying on the bathroom floor made sense at the time, and you must remember that the time was very early in the morning – earlier than I’m accustomed to, anyhow - and we all know that drunk ideas and early morning ideas are rarely ever good ones.
I’ll illustrate that last fact with the next picture, which I took because I thought maybe the Internet needed to know what I looked like As I Was Seeing It. Why I thought this was a good idea, I don’t know. My hair looks like it was combed with an eggbeater, my mascara is smudged all around my eyes, and my bathroom floor? Well – my floor I haven’t cleaned in a week. Wait, no, it’s been longer more like two weeks.
Don’t judge me, Internet, because it was very early in the morning and I obviously wasn’t thinking very clearly, and also because there are people out there who haven’t cleaned their bathroom floors in, like, three months. Or worse, they’ve NEVER cleaned their bathroom floors. And if that is you, Internet, just don’t tell me. I don’t want to know if you have never cleaned your bathroom floors, because that will make me think you’ve maybe never cleaned your entire bathroom, and if that’s the case I might be afraid to come over to your house one day, for fear that I might need to use the restroom while I’m there.
And you should know that my floors are typically so clean you can eat off of them – seriously, you could, because I scrub them on my hands and knees, Internet, with ANTI-BACTERIAL WET WIPES. Screw my Swiffer Wet Jet, I’m armed with Clorox.
Well, I’m typically armed with Clorox, anyhow. Right now I’m just staring at the ceiling.
Comments
Ouch! I pull my back muscles all the time where I can't even get up. It sucks and I hope you feel better.
I like the idea of the "As I See It" and your composition of the photo of the ceiling.
Posted by: andrea_frets | November 8, 2007 10:13 AM
THAT'S HOW I CLEAN MY FLOOR TOO!!! My bathroom floor and kitchen floor are the only tiled floors in my apartment, and they're just not big enough to justify a Swiffer Mop yet. And since that's the only kind I'll get, Clorox Wipes work fine for now. :)
I hope your back gets better soon!
Posted by: my life is brilliant | November 8, 2007 11:15 AM
So did ya go to work today?
Posted by: Erica | November 8, 2007 11:44 AM
Hmmm so I can assume that you're not still lying on the floor . . . or maybe you are and are blogging on your laptop. Is the back better? Are you mobile? Or are you still laying (or is it lying, I always get those words confused)on the floor wishing you had one of those "help, I've fallen and can't get up" buttons?
Posted by: Katie | November 8, 2007 11:50 AM
Haha! I am with you on the bathroom floor thing. There are people out there who I try to avoid visiting for fear of having to use their bathroom.
Sorry about your back! That's happened to me, except just lying there for long enough did seem to make it better.
Posted by: JLR | November 8, 2007 12:19 PM
oh my god! you poor sad thing!
though, i must say, from that view your bathroom looks lovely. :)
Hope you're up off of the floor. That is such a helpless awful feeling.
Posted by: Claire | November 8, 2007 02:11 PM
Ouch! Good that you show yourself seeing what you see as you see it.
That is one pity producing face :-)
Hope you heal quickly.
Posted by: witchypoo | November 8, 2007 10:02 PM
The frowny-face part of the early morning self-portrait is my favorite part.
I really like the "as I see it" idea. Point of view is endlessly interesting.
Also: does the swiffer wet jet work? I was just thinking of getting one to deal with our miles of hardwood flooring.
(Hope your back is better, soon.)
Posted by: kerrianne | November 11, 2007 12:21 AM
I just want to hug you right now.
Posted by: Juliness | November 11, 2007 05:13 PM
Poor thing, hope you feel better! I had my back go out like that once. It was nasty; couldn't even lean over the sink properly to brush my teeth!
Posted by: Mauigirl | November 12, 2007 12:36 PM
oh, poor chirky. :(
but hey, at least you got a good blog idea out of it! let's hope the next time it's when you are doing something less painful. ;)
Posted by: Sarcomical | November 13, 2007 01:07 AM
Hi, I'm a new-ish reader of yours, and just had to say that this post made me laugh out loud. I LOVE that photo of you.
Posted by: Larissa | November 13, 2007 11:38 AM
Why are you wearing mascara at 4:37 am?
Posted by: Lia | November 13, 2007 12:51 PM
Ouch!
now, you know what would be good for your back? Morphine. But since you can't get that then you should try HOT YOGA! It's like my cure for, well, everything.
Hungry? Do Yoga. Tired? Do Yoga! Want to go on a vacation? Do Yoga! See, it works.
Now I see people running and lifting weights and I laugh at them because they are tearing their bodies down and I am building mine up, keeping it fit and limber and sweating out toxins and strengthening my core. And my back, well, it used to hurt all the time, now it feels like the back of one of those people on Cirque De Soleil. Okay, maybe not that much, but you get the idea.
Posted by: Eddo | November 14, 2007 09:38 AM
as i see it . . . you need to post a new well post
p.s. I love you friend and this is just a gentle reminder that I sometimes must resort to the internet to see what's going on in your life (sad I know)
Posted by: Katie | November 14, 2007 04:36 PM
Oh! That sucks about your back but i think you might be onto something with the As I See It.
Next, we'll be seeing the floor at the chiropractors office?
Posted by: Kathy | November 15, 2007 08:14 AM