I'm Watching You
May 30, 2007
You know how they say men think about food and sex – and nothing else? I’d say that I’m the same. Almost.
Any given day, I’m either thinking about food or travel. I subscribe to a variety of food magazines and blogs, but my favorites are the travel sites and publications. They’re the first I check in my feed reader, even before I check my email. (And for those of you who know my addiction to email, that’s saying something.)
Food has always been a symbol of community for me: growing up, it was where my family spent time together each evening. Food was a foundation for me as I bonded with my mom and my grandmothers while they taught me how to cook. I love being in the kitchen -- after all, the way to my husband's heart is through his stomach, right? -- crafting recipes and trying new finds on eager (and hungry) friends.
I'm fascinated by the way people interact with each other and with food when they are in public. There's little better than visiting a gourmet restaurant and observing those around me while filling my belly with lime-infused pozole, or grilled mimosa shrimp, or fresh tomatoes drizzled with pesto and topped with grilled provolone.
Lately I've found myself making snap judgments when I watch a group of people walk into a four-star restaurant wearing t-shirts and dirty jeans. It's like a punch to the gut -- whether the maitre d's or my own, I haven't decided -- and I watch with a furrowed brow and careful eye as the party is seated.
I make snap judgments based on one's style of eating, whether someone loads up on their first go-round at the salad bar or if that person takes a modest amount and returns for seconds (and often thirds) later. I've watched as couples and families sit at a table and scarf their meal, leaving the establishment less than an hour after they were first seated. I've stolen glances at others who linger, enjoying their conversation and savoring each morsel.
When I’m not eating or thinking about food, I’m mentally planning trips around the world, taking note of foods I want to eat while I’m there or places that I simply must visit. I have tons of travel clippings related to my long list of domestic and international "some-day" destinations. I busy myself with imagining everything from the flights and train rides to those places to the ways of life of the locals.
Mental images of busy streets dance in my head, giving way to boutique shops and outdoor food markets with flies buzzing near the raw meat. I don’t even mind those flies, whether real or imagined. They represent new cultures and experiences and the very mores of a society.
My mind invents the beaches and the waves and sailboats and hammocks and lovers wandering hand-in-hand, clutching fruity, tropical drinks as they pick their way through rocks and kelp. With my mind's eye I watch the local children playing in the alleys, sticks and balls strewn about, stopping only to wave at passers-by or to cuddle the kitten that crawled out from beneath the pier and beam footprint of its home.
This weekend, between bouts of gawking and glancing at others, I watched myself. I watched myself gnaw on Cajun-rubbed ribs at a Renaissance Festival while managing to massacre my mouth, cheeks and chin with bits of meat and seasoning. I watched myself satiate my craving for veggies with marinated artichoke hearts, Swiss potato gratin and crisply steamed green beans and carrots from a salad bar. I watched myself celebrate my love for garlic picanha, savoring bite after bite, discussing the recipe for the steak's rub with the server.
And as I headed out the door, I watched myself gaze at a clock and realize that our party, while dressed the part, had eaten three courses, paid and left the restaurant in precisely one hour. I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve become like a typical American diner, not lingering over the meal with good company, savoring every bite and hanging onto every word.
I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve become a scarfer.
I've been mulling over this atrocity for the past few days, and now I'm curious: what do you do? How long do you spend preparing a meal versus eating it? By and large, how long do you linger in a restaurant? Are you good for a quickly turned table, or is eating out an affair for you?
Personally, I'll be disappointed if my next meal isn't fueled by great food and great conversation. And only then, perhaps, will I return to my obsession with traveling.
(This will be soon, I hope, because I just read an amazing article about a restaurant in Spain, El Bulli, which has me salivating over my passport. Considering the establishment has been voted several times over as the Best Restaurant in the World, and since the meal is served over six hours and 35 courses, I think I'll have plenty of time for conversation, don't you?)
Comments
How long I stay to eat and converse at a restaurant depends on what kind of restaurant it is. Today I had lunch with a girl friend of mine and we sat there for about 40 minutes. It would have been longer, but we were limited to our 1 hour break. There are many many times that my family sits arounds the dinner table for over an hour, talking and laughing and telling stories. It's been quite awhile since I went to a very nice restaurant, but when I do, I always dress nice (as does my husband) and we eat slowly and savor the treat of fine dining. I would never wear soiled or ripped clothing to a nice restaurant, or to any restaurant for that matter. It's sad how people don't care about appearances. I'm even old fashioned enough to dress nice when flying. My mom always tells us how flying used to be a classy thing: it was special to fly and people would dress up for flying. Even if I will be cramped in coach.
Very lovely post, by the way. You are an excellent writer.
Posted by: Chiada | May 30, 2007 04:22 PM
I love to eat out. I can't cook. I usually get our meals delivered.
I can feel how you love cooking so much. I'm so guilty.
BTW, I am hungry after reading this post. Cheers... ^o^
Posted by: PrettyInTheCity | May 30, 2007 11:55 PM
Promise me you won't watch me this summer. Noooo! I am a hot mess.
And...funny - I didn't see this in the Indie Bloggers queue and it's really, really well written. Huh. I must have missed it. Because it's really that good and I *know* you must have submitted. I'll go check.
Posted by: Jurgen Nation | May 31, 2007 12:08 AM
that sounds delightful! i've got my passport out too!!
Posted by: Mrs. M | May 31, 2007 07:33 AM
As usual, a beautifully written article, Jes. Not my usual subject of contemplation, but good food for thought (couldn't resist).
Mealtime protocol depends on a lot of things. Lunch at my desk or supper at home after a long day - I guess I'm what you'd call a scarfer. Weekend meals are more formal and can go on for hours, depending on who's at the table. And on the rare occasion I visit a restaurant, the meal will generally take a while, because I go out for occasions or with special people, and those are times for savoring food and conversation.
Posted by: Lia | May 31, 2007 08:55 AM
Dude ... we need to have lunch sometime.
~Jef
Posted by: Edge | May 31, 2007 09:02 AM
I'm a scarfer. It comes from being in college, and needing to eat fast so I can go do my work. And that's just how I eat now (that, and growing up with two boys who always ate a lot taught me to eat quickly so I could grab seconds before it was all gone).
But when I'm dining with friends, I'll still eat really really quickly, but we'll sit and chat for hours on end. So I only take half an hour to eat, and then three hours later I'll still be in the restaurant with mis amigas. Yeah, servers hate me.
Unfortunately, I will be one of those people you'll see in a nice restaurant in jeans. It's because I spend money on things other than clothes, so I open my closet to find something nice to wear, and realize I have nothing for a nice restaurant. I do try to find clean jeans, relatively hole free (if the holes aren't immediately noticeable, they don't count), and always a clean top.
Posted by: Manchuria | May 31, 2007 10:14 AM
I fall into the "fast eater" category too but I think that stems from working at summer camp where you have about 20 minutes to eat so you sit down and get to business. But I do like the "linger" after a good meal and chat so I have been known to take a while at a table.
Oh and feel free to gift me with a nice trip to Spain and that amazing restuarant you mentioned. Girl Trip!!
Posted by: Katie | May 31, 2007 12:37 PM
My passport's ready to go. Shall I meet you at JFK or in Spain?
Posted by: Daily Tragedies | May 31, 2007 01:03 PM
But....wait....you didn't talk about the OTHER thing we all think about all the time. (Heh) I loooooooooooooove eating out, and I looooove to linger. My chief complaint would probably be the service coming back to fast, too often and to ready with the check. I bemoan how fast americans eat, no one lingers or savors food, especially at lunch. Of course, if I stoop to eat at Taco Hell ....suffice to say that I will be there for 15 minutes, tops.
Dress-wise - I ran into two friends who are brothers from high school last week (graduated in 97) They both commented that they'd NEVER seen me in casual clothes since that point. That is sad. My wardrobe is largely black, black, black, white and dresses, so I don't worry too much about what to wear out....just overdressing in so-casual SB.
Posted by: Maya | May 31, 2007 02:53 PM
Agree with Stacy - Nice writing, my dear. :)
And as for savoring? I eat most of my meals in my car while driving to or from work or school or at my desk. One day, some day soon, I hope, I'll savor.
Posted by: Courtney | May 31, 2007 10:00 PM
Both! I'm a scarfer most of the time though.
I like that last paragraph, 6 hours and 35 courses sounds wonderful! I bet it is pricey though.
Oh, and is this a word?: crisply
Posted by: eddo | June 1, 2007 08:13 AM
Of course it is a word!
(And yes, it is pricey: $300 per person, $400 with wine, around $500 with tip)
Posted by: jes | June 1, 2007 08:47 AM
We should totally eat together sometime. I'd probably make you laugh with my incessant questions about the menu. I promise to chew with my mouth closed.
Posted by: kerrianne | June 1, 2007 07:06 PM
What an interesting blog! I totally agree with you about food. My mother raised us (there are 4 of us) to savor each meal. To think of it as a celebration. She taught us - and I do this now with my husband and children - to eat our meals together and enjoy them. Talk. And laugh. And enjoy the food. Enjoy the preparation that went into it (even when out). Thanks for the great post! I will be stopping by often!
- Audrey
Pinks & Blues Girls
www.pinksandblues.com
Posted by: Audrey - Pinks & Blues Girls | June 2, 2007 09:10 PM
Barcelona is my most favorite city I've ever been to - so a trip to Barcelona and a visit to that awesome restaurant sounds like a really great trip. :) I, too, enjoy food.
Posted by: Giselle | June 3, 2007 04:01 PM
Six hours, 35 courses?! That's insane! You'd need to take breaks from lunch!
On weeknights, I try to just throw something together so I can eat it in about 20 minutes and let it settle an hour so I can get to the gym and back home at a reasonable time.
I probably am a scarfer, too, which makes me really enjoy those slow meals with friends. They usually only happen once every couple of weeks.
Posted by: my life is brilliant | June 5, 2007 12:45 PM
First of all, this was so beautifully written.
Second, go read this; it's fascinating, and is, I think, on point with what you're saying. (I'm in the middle of it now.)
http://www.randomhouse.com/crown/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780307347329
Posted by: metalia | June 7, 2007 11:40 PM
OMG, Metalia: You couldn't be more dead on with me. I haven't even written about it yet, mainly because it is so new in my life and I want to test my ability to stick with a plan, but I'm attempting something similar to this.
I just read an article in D Magazine (a mag about Dallas, where I live) about Farmer's Markets and eating locally. Since then, I've been hell-bent to shop at the market instead of the grocery store for fruits, veggies, etc. Obviously, it's not always convenient. But I'm trying to make it a goal.
Thanks for recommending that book to me - I'm going to pick up a copy!
Posted by: jes | June 8, 2007 09:13 AM