Chirky: How To Determine Whether You Are Destined To Become An English Major

There's been a lot of talk lately in our home about graduate school, and for fun during my lunch break today, I took a sample GMAT test online.

The quiz began with the quantitative section of the standardized test, and perhaps now is an appropriate time to explain just how much I loathe math. When I am assaulted with an algebraic equation, my heart stands in abeyance, my breathing ceases and I just stare in horror. Was there ever a time in my life when I knew what to do with x?

Are those equations supposed to make sense? 1/x = 3.5 means nothing - nothing - to me, and although I got the answer right you I should tell you that I had to do some Internet research before solving it. You see, my addiction to the Internet isn't limited to reading news and blogs and celebrity gossip. I use it for algebra, too.

It's because of this fact that I hope I'll have a few things available to me during the exam, like Internet access, a calculator (admittedly, I used it today to add 15+8 – if I hadn't done that, I would have just counted on my fingers, and since I never know who is lurking around my cubicle, I thought the calculator was the smarter option since at least I would give the appearance of intelligently calculating very, very difficult problems), Swiss chocolates, and loads of extra time.

Because I'm quite certain there is a more direct method of finding the correct answer than taking the multiple-choice responses supplied and plugging each into the equation to see which fits it the best.

Of course – I'm not terrible with math. I'm quite adept at calculating 40% off when I’m shopping, and I’m the one in our household who is responsible for balancing the checkbook. What's really a wonder, though, is that each time the checkbook balances correctly.

I was working along happily, or as happily as one can when one hasn't taken math in six years, when I happened upon this question:

Frank is 15 years younger then John. In 5 years John will be twice as old as Frank. How old will Frank be in four years?*

I stared at that question for about ten seconds, and ten seconds is a long time to stare at text – go ahead, time yourself. I'll wait – and all I could think was: "Frank is 15 years younger than John.
TTHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN."

Naturally, from there I began picking apart the sentence: Why isn't the number 5 spelled out, like the number four? Who wrote this? I don't think this question would actually appear on the GMAT. Can I report it anywhere? Is there a suggestion or complaint link? And how do I report it without seeming OCD?

Alas, I could not report it, and had I done so, there would be no avoiding my OCD tendencies.

I scored well on the English portion of the test, as I suspected that I would, but my math score was sub-par. I'm blaming my score on the grammatically unsound equations, and also a significant lack of chocolate in my system.

Who knew dieting could have such an effect on arithmetic?

*The answer, by the way, is fourteen.

Comments

That's why essay tests are always better than multiple choice: you can divert attention away from your sub-par math skills by parsing the question!

Posted by: Leah | April 26, 2007 03:41 PM

Gosh, I thought I was good at math and I keep coming up with 24 as the answer... This is going to drive me crazy!

Posted by: Daisymom | April 26, 2007 03:48 PM

The "then/than" thing is the first thing I noticed! I'm a grammar nerd.

Posted by: Radish | April 26, 2007 03:52 PM

*hanging head in shame*

I didn't notice the "then", but I'm blaming that on you and your focus on the mathiness. Because usually I do notice those things.

Posted by: Lia | April 26, 2007 04:10 PM

Ooh, I hate math too, but then, when I get it, I love it, so I really don't hate math so much as that it doesn't come easy for me and since it doesn't come easy to me I don't like to try because really, to tell the truth, most things come pretty easy for me. I mean, I can reach things way up high and I can add 15+8 without a calculator! I know. God was generous with me.

Posted by: eddo | April 26, 2007 07:43 PM

One of my major pet peeves is when people use the word "then" in place of "than". It absolutely drives me crazy. Also, I am currently taking Web Design classes at my local community college. There have been several nights of homework where I have thrown down my pencil in frustration and wailed out to my husband in anguish over the grammatical errors in the instructions my teacher has typed out to us. I mean, more than half the time, her instructions can be interpreted in different ways, resulting in different answers, just because her grammar is so awful!!! It really irks me. And then I feel like an OCD jerk when I email her to ask her in detail what she meant by the question. And she usually responds with some half*ss answer that doesn't fully answer my question but just leaves me hanging. *fuming* Anyhoo, enough about that since I can feel my blood pressure rising. One thing I do when adding and subtracting numbers in my head such as 15 and 8 is I visualize it. I think, "okay, adding an even number that ends in zero is a lot easier than adding numbers that don't end in zero. So, I take 15 and add 5 to get it to 20. That means I just took 5 off the 8, which makes it 3. Now it's easier to add 20 and 3." Okay, yeah, that's a long thought process when I write it out like that, but I've been doing that for so long that it gets to be almost instantaneous. Of course, that's much easier than adding numbers like 2,457 and 1,396. (Thinks: "make it 2,450, minus 3 from 1,396 is 1,393, so that means 2,450 plus 1,393... oh goodness, I've gone cross-eyed.") Actually, in those circumstances, I visualize the one number over the other number method. Subtracting large numbers in my head, though, is another story.

Posted by: Chiada | April 26, 2007 07:59 PM

I couldn't get past the "then" either!

Posted by: Courtney | April 26, 2007 08:25 PM

Could you go make and explain the problem, then I will understand how you got 14.

GAWD! I HATE MATH!

Posted by: Judi | April 26, 2007 09:21 PM

Hanging head in shame...I missed the English part and now feel very stupid. Then I got caught on the math problem and felt my blood pressure rise because you were testing me. I am so heading back to my blog where I never have to do math. One more thing...this is the real world where one needed those skills they said would be so important. The importance of protecting ones ego. :)

Posted by: Alexandra/Infertile Gourmet | April 26, 2007 11:07 PM

I UNDERSTAND!!!! instead of knowing how to do the math, I'm correcting spelling and grammar.

Posted by: Mrs. M | April 27, 2007 07:48 AM

Why are you taking the GMAT? You need to take the GRE.

~Jef

Posted by: Edge | April 27, 2007 08:16 AM

Ha, I thought the same thing as Jef. Jes are you going to get your MBA? That's pretty much the only reason you would need the GMAT. As far as math, I think I can hold my own up until they throw the whole "i" in there, as in imaginary number. I think my brain blocked that part of algebra out a long time ago BUT I can prove the Pythagorean theorem (NERD I KNOW).

So maybe now you need to take a practice GRE.

Posted by: Katie | April 27, 2007 09:23 AM

Where did you find the sample GMAT? I've been putting off getting my MBA, and it's time I got my butt in gear! And I need all the practice I can get, since I haven't taken a test in almost 7 years!

Posted by: Melanie | April 27, 2007 09:29 AM

Yes, yes. I know.

I know that the GMAT is mostly used for business school, and that the GRE is commonly taken for most other graduate programs.

Because you know that I'm fickle, and that certainly I'm tossing around a couple different possibilities, you MUST understand that a girl needs options. In this case, those options entail the GMAT. Thus, the practice test.

Posted by: jes | April 27, 2007 11:04 AM

ha ha ha! I have a BA in English, and I have not taken a math class since I was in grade 11. (I am 27 now) You do the math ;) Just teasing, anyway I was looking at the GMAT and was completely blown away by the math section. Why do we really need to answer algebra questions if we want to pursue higher education in another field?...stinks!

Posted by: Jul | April 27, 2007 12:36 PM

X should = 3.5 not 14.

;)

Posted by: Ben | April 27, 2007 12:58 PM

But then maybe I am calculating wrong... how can 1/3.5 = 3.5? I hate math... and when you commented THAAAANNNNNN, I thought to myself... it should be than... not then... and then I went back to the question and read then and then I thought.... "Hm. Missed that."

Stupid GMAT.

I have an MBA, but I didn't take the GMAT because I already had one Master's degree and the program was kind enough to waive the requirement and take my GRE score in its place.

Posted by: Ben | April 27, 2007 01:03 PM

Ben: I didn't give the solution to the equation 1/x = 3.5. The answer I gave was to the word problem - in four years, Frank will be 14.

Posted by: jes | April 27, 2007 02:04 PM

So are you taking it? We'll be able to internet study together.

I am horrible - HORRIBLE - at math, so much so that I am so incredibly freaked out about the GRE that I am actually thinking about getting yet another Bachelor's Degree just so I can avoid the Master's. WTF?! No. Just...no. We can do this.

Right? CHIRKY. Right?

Posted by: Jurgen Nation | April 27, 2007 04:49 PM

Jes...

I got that... I was just trying to be funny.

Posted by: Ben | April 30, 2007 03:42 PM

Dude, I totally feel you. I'm an editor. My motto in college was, "I'm a journalism major because I don't do math."

Posted by: my life is brilliant | April 30, 2007 04:27 PM

I'm godawful at math, and was an English major, too. Despite flirting with the idea of getting an MBA, I fear the GMAT to no end.

Posted by: metalia | May 1, 2007 07:55 PM

*The answer, by the way, is 42.

I should have realized that immediately - even more important than then/than.

On the other hand, if you don't want to solve the math, you probably don't know or care about 42.