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Snakes On A Plane In A Toilet

January 25, 2007

Filed Under: Irrational fears

For the past two years, nearly every time I sit down on the toilet, I have a sudden and irrational fear of snakes. Snakes, guilefully lurking in the plumbing, waiting until my posterior is exposed, and then lurching upward, striking quickly, and biting me.

And then I'll be dead, with my pants down, and I'll probably have hunched over and fallen to the ground and my husband, Roger, will have to find me like that.

And that's not how I want him to remember me.


Look at these pictures! Also, these articles! How could I not be afraid? THERE HAVE BEEN FATALITIES!

Comments

1

You crack me up! I had a friend in high school who was afraid she would die in a tanning booth. She said she was afraid they would find her naked and dead with marshmallows in her mouth because she ate them while she tanned ... naked. Oddly enough, I have this odd picture of her in my mind, naked in the bluish green glow, arm hanging out of the bed, eyes open and a nice toasty marshmallow oozing from her mouth. And it makes me giggle every time!

~Jef

2

I hate you, because I looked at the pictures and read the story and now I don't want to go to the bathroom. Here I sat all innocent and thinking that this was just a urban myth and of course snakes can't get into toilets but NOOOOO you had to prove it with pictures and stories and now I hate you. (luckily for you i like you too much to hate you for long)

3

I was chuckling to myself about irrational fears until I clicked on those links. Yikes! Now I don't want to sit on the toilet, either. I live alone--it might be a total stranger who finds me, after they notice a strange smell coming from my house! Maybe this is what prompts people to start peeing in the shower?

4

I can't help but feel sorry for the snake that got stuck in the drain. Poor thing! What if she'd died? I mean--what a way to go?

5

Oh, Katie. I know. I know how you feel. I know the fear. I kick my toilet and watch for movement everytime I walk in the bathroom.

It's quite pathetic.

And yet I can't stop.


And lizgwiz, I agree with you. At least in the shower you can watch for snakes as you do your business. And run away with relative ease. But on the toilet? You've got the whole problem of PANTS AROUND YOUR ANKLES.


JLR: What? Feeling sorry for the snake? Ug. Not me. I want to see that sucker DEAD. (I admit that mercy is not my strong point.)

6

omg im so scared now! i will never be able to wander into our bathroom half asleep in the middle of the night and just plop on down to pee in the dark. NOO now i have to wake up completely, turn on all the lights, completely inspect the toilet bat in hand, THEN i can pee. my husbands gonna looooove you.

7

moral of the story: look before you sit?

8

Of course I read this when I have to go to the bathroom already. Thanks.

What's funny is all of a sudden, I've been afraid of something like this, myself. In college, I had a co-worker who had a squirrel come up out of her toilet and destroy things in her home. I'd rather deal with a squirrel than a snake, unless it was rabid or something ...

But hey, Jes, just be glad you live closer to the city.

9

Great, just great. The minute I clicked those pictures I became instantly constipated.

10

I have to admit that I have the same (not-so-irrational) fear. Except I've never worried about it in a toilet, per se, just Johnny on the Jobs and outhouses at the lake when we go camping.

Oy!

I do think that maybe looking before you sit is good advice.

11

That's it! I've finally discovered how to make my millions! I'm going to develop the first "serpent proof toilet"! Thanks, Chirky, for the awesome idea.

12

Wow. That is crazy! I'm having a hard time believing it even though I read and saw with my own eyes! That snake is huge! How did it not clog up all the pipes all the time? Wouldn't a bunch of huge loads force it into the sewer system eventually? I think it's all a bunch of crap. A huge urban legend well concocted. At least I hope so.

13

Oh, Jesus. Why did you write this. Some of my best friends in college were frat boys and they played a HORRIBLE porn movie at one of their parties. The snake...and lady...

I can't.

*boot*

14

oh my god. i totally do that. but sometimes i replace snakes with demons. same thing.

15

OMG! I am also afraid of this. Thankfully, nothing has EVER come OUT of my toilet. Never. Not even the red bathroom one.

16

Oh, fantastic. I just got over my fear of toilet spiders, and now this.

17

Ha! I hate snakes.

Me, whenever I use a bathroom, particularly in public place like a park, I am scared of creepy MEN. There was this sicko who used to wade into the space below the toilet in a couple of parks here in Colorado and he would FILM the woman doing her business. Imagine looking down and seeing THAT! Ick.

18

Rosie: Even grosser than looking down and seeing a man filming me while I peed?

WOULD BE THE THOUGHT OF HIM WADING THROUGH EVERYONE'S FECES SO THAT HE COULD FILM ME.

That's nasty.

19

This reminds me of my sharks in a chlorine! infested pool mentality of days gone by. Although this week I learned there are indeed species of shark that can live in both salt and fresh water, and that they have found said species hundreds of miles inland, in the Mississippi. Um, yeah. I love the discovery channel.

20

Oh wow. I'm gonna have to add this to my list of paranoias!

21

OMG1 Yes1 I am afraid of that too.. all those documentary exposures of like holes cut in walls of public bathrooms that are tiiiiiny and made for peeking? OMG! I think about that every time I have to pee in public!

22

My mom and dad live in Florida and they have gotten frogs in their toilet in the middle of the night when she sits down to pee, so i don't think your fear is irrational.

23

Girl! I am the same way!!! Growing up in asia has made me paranoid of this!! One time in Manila my mom sat down on the toilet and there was a huge RAT in it!! No lie! I remember her yelling and our gardner running in there with a hoe to kill it! All while my mom was with her pants down!!!

Funny to look back on now!

And in Singapore in our apt building, they found a baby cobra in the boys bathroom down by the pool. Combine that with my mom's rat story, and I have been freked ever since of a snake coming out of the toilet!!!

Not that this story will help your paranoia...

24

See... THAT's why I live in MINNESOTA! No snakes in our toilets.

Crazy Texans.

25

Uh... Sorry to disappoint you, ben, but last night, I found a live garter snake in my toilet bowl, and I live in Southern Ontario. It's still there. Repeated flushings are not driving it away, I thought I had gotten rid of it last night but nope, it came out again this morning. I've been trying to get rid of it but it shoots back up the U-bend each time I screw up the nerve to reach for it. C'mon Myrtle, my bladder is dangerously full. Oh well, at least I know I'm not alone and at least I know that this snake ain't gonna kill me. Curse the people who built this house with only one bathroom!




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