Smells Like Beef and Cheese
December 30, 2006
Why must, once you get on the plane, someone begin eating smelly food? I saw all of you, each and every one of you sitting in the waiting area, bored. Every single one of you. BORED. And not eating.
And then we boarded the plane, and got comfy in our very tiny seats, and once we reached cruising altitude, and before the flight attendant even had begun to prepare her beverage cart, YOU, Mr. iPod and Receding Hairline, produced your smelly food from the deep recesses of your carry-on luggage.
I cannot see what is making such a stench, but it smells like corn-nuts. For breakfast! At 5:37 a.m.! You should be outlawed!
This is, afterall, only a two-hour flight. And I recognize you from last night, last night when we all sat together grumbling about our cancelled flight, phoning our family and friends and credit card company concierge services to request overnight accommodations. I’m certain that your hotel offered a continental breakfast, one that did not involve corn-nuts, and that the offending snack was really an impulse purchase made in the secured area of the airport by The Receding Hairline.
Those crunchy little wads are a $3.49 snack of horror. They reek. And I think they're ranch-flavored. RANCH-FLAVORED. CORN-NUTS. For breakfast! At 5:37 a.m.!
Editor's Note:
Please forgive. Was written from a very small seat while the scent of ranch-flavored corn-nuts invaded. Also, it was a very early flight. And also, I didn't get much sleep, since I was up at 3:45 a.m. to catch the flight. And also, I was tired. OMG. Delirious.
Comments
Glad you're home!!!
Ranch flavored corn nuts for breakfast? Eeeeew!!!
Posted by: Jayleigh | December 30, 2006 04:40 PM
EEEWWWW!! I do not eat breakfast foods for breakfast... but corn nuts are OFF LIMITS anywhere around me... BARRF.
Posted by: Anonymous | December 30, 2006 04:41 PM
You know, I'm one of those people who can eat practically anything at any time (e.g., pizza for breakfast, on occasion), but even I would draw the line at Ranch Flavored Corn Nuts for breakfast. GROSS.
(Also? Welcome back!)
Posted by: metalia | December 30, 2006 09:24 PM
Glad you made it back in one piece. Happy New Year's!!
Posted by: Heather | December 31, 2006 04:33 PM
OK, I do not even know what a corn nut is, but I think I don't want to know.
Happy New Year!!
Posted by: Tartine | January 1, 2007 10:33 AM
I think I may have seen a bag of corn nuts before, but like Tartine, I have no idea what it is. It does sound gross though.
I'm glad you made it home safe despite the delayed flight and smelly corn nuts! I hope the rest of your trip was fantastic.
Posted by: -R- | January 1, 2007 11:39 PM
Oh how I love the "and also"s. Yay.
0537 is too early for most things. Corn nuts? Relegated so low they're not even on that list.
Posted by: mike | January 2, 2007 09:51 AM
Two words for you: Chicago. Roast Beef.
Help me.
Posted by: Lena | January 2, 2007 11:27 AM
Corn nuts should be banned, period. Because of the Stench Factor. Fritos, too. That Corn-y Badness.
Posted by: Suebob | January 2, 2007 12:09 PM
Okay, I probably shouldn't admit this, but *whispers* I have eaten ranch-flavored corn nuts for breakfast. In my defense, nobody sits anywhere near me.
I'm so ashamed.
Posted by: lizgwiz | January 3, 2007 12:21 PM
I was totally thinking about corn nuts yesterday and how bad they smell.
What's funny is that you were trying to get to the very airport I was trying to leave on Friday. Stupid rain! If our flights hadn't been cancelled, we might have passed each other!
Posted by: my life is brilliant | January 4, 2007 09:59 PM
Last year, while I was suffering from morning sickness, some guy sat next to me on the airplane with McDonalds. It was all I could do to keep it in as barfing on an airplane is on my list of THINGS TO NEVER DO. I think the corn nuts would have sent me over the edge.
Posted by: paisley | January 5, 2007 02:33 PM