Public Service Announcement: Beans Produce Gas
December 14, 2006
You know when someone tries to serve you beans for dinner? And you look at them, and the first thing that pops into your mind is ALL THAT GAS?
And so you ask your mom if it's going to make you fart (oh, how I hate that word!), and she says that it won't, and you make the mistake of believing her?
And so you call her on the phone to tell her she was wrong, and her response is that it's only because you don't eat beans often enough, if you ate beans more often, your body wouldn't react that way? And so you continue to eat them?
And holding the gas in is PAINFUL? And to combat it, you park extra-far away in the parking garage so you can putter your way into the office without anyone noticing? And you make extra trips up and down the stairwell for the same reason? And you go home during lunch in hopes of a toilet-sitting marathon that produces something other than gas?
No? Just me, then?
But answer me this: You know how when it's cold outside and you exhale through your mouth, you can see your breath on the air? Does the same thing happen when it comes out the other end?
Comments
It's so much easier being a guy in regards to gas. You just tell someone to "pull my finger" and blame it on the dog.
If I know I'm going to be doing something important that day and I eat beans I keep some gas ex or whatever around so that I don't get gas.
~Jef
Posted by: Edge | December 14, 2006 02:27 PM
OMG. That's all I've got. lol
Posted by: Mo | December 14, 2006 03:28 PM
I think you may have just created a new breed of paranoia among women. As if we need something new to obsess over.
Posted by: Laura | December 14, 2006 05:21 PM
Beans do nothing to me. Cabbage? Brussels sprouts? HELL ON EARTH.
Posted by: jonniker | December 14, 2006 08:04 PM
I also do not like that word, not really sure why but it's been that way since I was a young child.
Maybe it's sense related!
Michael F.T.F.
http://questionoftheday.blogspot.com/
Posted by: QUESTION of the DAY ? | December 14, 2006 08:47 PM
Um, as to your last question, I think that deals blogged about that once. I would give you the link, but I can't find it.
Posted by: JLR | December 14, 2006 08:47 PM
Ok. So i have done THAT in cold weather and turned around really fast and I didn't see anything. I have exhaled and turned a circle and seen the remnants of breath.. soooo... I think your clothes diffuse it.
Posted by: Julianna | December 14, 2006 11:28 PM
Wow. Never thought about the can-you-see-it-in-the-cold thing.
And I thought MY post today was brave!
Posted by: my life is brilliant | December 14, 2006 11:28 PM
OMW I never thought about it. Ewwwwww.
Posted by: Jayleigh | December 15, 2006 06:56 AM
Ohmigod; I'm dying here...that was too funny. And that last question? Well, it just blew my mind (no pun intended) ;)
Posted by: metalia | December 15, 2006 11:20 AM
Your mom is wrong about the bean thing. I am a 20-year vegetarian and a lover of All Things Mexican, so I should know. After all these years, they are still The Musical Fruit.
Posted by: Suebob | December 15, 2006 05:34 PM
"Putter Your Way". HA HA HA HA!!!
I kept hitting "refresh" and finally the website worked.
What was up with that????
Posted by: AmStaff Mom | December 18, 2006 01:13 PM