With a name like Captain Hambone, you might expect him to wear a cape and fly through windows.
August 15, 2006
It's not often that I laugh until I cry and then cramp up in pain because I am at work, presumably working. I cannot laugh out loud. I MUST NOT LAUGH OUT LOUD. Instead, I flung my head down and half-covered my face with my right hand as my entire body began to violently, uncontrollably shake.
My abs hurt. I minimized my Firefox window and calmed myself. I breathed in long, deep breaths. And then I went back to working, thinking to myself, "I'll have to finish this at lunch."
Several minutes later, I opened my Firefox window and began reading once more, only to minimize the window within seconds, again. I repeated the process of trying to calm myself, this time by digging my elbows into my desk and tightening each muscle in my body to prevent myself from laughing aloud.
It didn't work.
Emily, the author of Not That You Asked (whose domain is named after her dog, Hambone), is not just a captivating writer. She is like a sister I've never met – and by that, I mean our lives since childhood are disturbingly similar. Hers is one of my favorite blogs, and yesterday's entry is a perfect example why. An excerpt that, as of yet, hasn't failed to produce in me an encore of giggles:
"What wasn’t so nice to hear was what Dave said when he returned from retrieving a few things from the car that I was physically unable to get for myself because not only did it mean I would have to revisit the scene of the crime but also because my eyes were swollen shut from all the crying: “Wow, there’s an awful lot of dog hair stuck in the back window.” Which made me start hyperventilating all over again because HELLO! DOG HAIR STUCK IN THE WINDOW, a reminder that it’s not like he went out of it WILLINGLY!"
Comments
good gosh that was a sharp turn to fling your 50 lb dog out the window, that takes true talent, and a very gymnastically talented dog (get him his own super hero show)
Posted by: Katie, the original | August 15, 2006 11:42 AM
p.s. was the product placement of the term "firefox" there to hint to those of us who are explorer hold outs that you think we are lesser human beings?
Posted by: Katie, the original | August 15, 2006 11:43 AM
No, KT. Not lesser human beings. Just lesser technologically advanced internet users who have been brainwashed into using Explorer.
Posted by: jes | August 15, 2006 11:47 AM
Immediately added her to my list of bloggers to read. How funny. Thanks for pointing her out!
~Jef
Posted by: Thunderfish | August 15, 2006 12:43 PM
I read that yesterday and had a similar reaction. How, exactly, do the laws of Physics conspire to toss one's dog out the window? Never having had a dog, perhaps I'm at a disadvantage in trying to answer this question.
Excellent description of the ab pain and Firefox minimizing. =) I'm sure my colleague thinks I'm on crack.
Posted by: Daily Tragedies | August 15, 2006 02:19 PM
OHMYGOD I'm dying. I just snorted my pop. Thank you for introducing what is now going to be another daily read. :)
Posted by: Jurgen Nation | August 15, 2006 07:07 PM
Ha! I love it!
And since you were so nice to recommend her I'll return the favor...if you haven't already, check out Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued about
http://www.milmillington.com/
Good stuff.
Posted by: Jenny | August 16, 2006 05:11 AM
Oh my God, I just had the same reaction. I've gotta stop reading funny stuff when I'm supposed to be working. My throat hurts from trying not to let the laughter out.
Posted by: Sparkling Cipher | August 16, 2006 11:47 AM
Will check out the blog. Sounds funny!
Posted by: Ree | August 16, 2006 02:06 PM