Chirky

As a self-proclaimed beauty editor - I'm sacrificing myself to bring you authentic reviews of various products, just because I love you so. Got one you want me to review? Email me - I have received in the mail a fair amount of lotions (okay, fine - I've received two) to review so far.

I want to know where the fun products are, like glitter. Or lip gloss. I suppose everyone needs to start somewhere, and soft, moisturized skin is as good a place as any to begin reviewing products. Especially if they are free. (Lotion is particularly a good place to start if you are like me, because my skin is nearly as ashy as the roof of my parents' car after Mt. St. Helens exploded). I realize how horrible an analogy that is, because: really? I don't have three inches of ash suctioned to my skin. Still, I can't even remember the last time I put lotion on my legs.

Today I used the Smooth Sensation lotion produced by the Nivea body care line. The Nivea website has this to say about it:

Specifically formulated for Dry Skin, Smooth Sensation delivers intensive moisturization in a unique light, fast absorbing formula. Enriched with Gingko Extract, Shea Butter and Vitamin E, it provides Triple Action moisturization for the most touchable skin you’ve ever imagined:

• Smoothes and nourishes the skin
• Revitalizes the skin
• Absorbs quickly into the skin

Nivea's marketing department gets two thumbs up. If I found this product in the store and read the description, I might actually buy a bottle of it for myself.

Unfortunately, it would only be possible for the description of this lotion to be more of a lie if they promised it would help fat cells disappear in a matter of seconds, or that my skin would change to a lovely golden tan, sans streaks, or that the pitch of my voice wouldn't falter when I try to sing a cappella.

Personally, I like lotion to be thick and creamy so that I have to work at rubbing it in my skin. At least make me feel like I'm achieving a result by using the lotion.

Smooth Sensation by Nivea was a bit watery for my taste, and felt like it was just being smeared around on my skin rather than absorbing and moisturizing my delicate pores. And while it did a fabulous job of ridding the skin on my legs of its ashy appearance, I wanted a towel to dry myself off after applying it.

I think the following bullet points need to be added to the description:

• For use on body only, not hands
• Pungently perfumed, not lightly scented
• Will leave user either (a) afraid to touch face with hands because of the fear of transferring greasiness from palm to face; (b) repeatedly wiping palms on slacks or (c) running to the bathroom for soap and water

Have you tried this lotion? What did you think?

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