In The Valley
July 25, 2006
I just listened to a message that I recorded for myself earlier today. I’ve been irritated recently when I sit down to write because exactly this comes to mind: .
I start to write, and then stop and erase everything, and then repeat the same again. It's this constant battle I have, this battle with words, and it's not limited to paper. Sometimes it's in conversation, too. The thing is when I'm alone I'm always thinking, always talking. I’m very likable, you see. My incessant babbling and talking to myself in my car is endearing. I talk to myself so often that sometimes I pick up my phone and start talking to it with no one on the other end so that all the people surrounding me in traffic, all those people who are not looking at me, won’t think I am crazy.
Today while talking to myself, I stumbled upon a subject that I thought would be just perfect for this website. I talked myself all the way through it, laughing with myself at the parts that were funny, and then decided that I should record it on my cell phone so that I would remember what I had said. I pressed “record” and this was what came to mind: .
I actually got nervous talking to myself, saying such things as, “Heh. Hi. It’s, um, me. And I’m recording a message for myself because I uhhh, I uhhhh, wanted to remember what I was, uhhhh, saying. So, I was ummm, talking to (long pause while I shifted gears to Not Going Anywhere) myself about ummm…Ohhh. Mmyyy. Gggooooossssshhhhh. WHY DO I BOTHER?” Beeeeep.
While listening to my message, I realized that I sound like a valley girl. Why has no one ever told me this before? There were so many uhhhhhs and ummmmms and whatevers and likes in my message. I began to crinkle my nose and furrow my brows as I heard more and more of myself.
(Sidenote: my voice! It is so crisp and clear. I could totally do voiceovers. I need to be discovered. Somebody! Discover me!)
After listening to myself stumble over words while I was talking to no one, no one at all, I decided I should make a list of Things To Do before I leave for BlogHer (squeeeeeeeeee!!!!) on Thursday. Have I told you I like making lists? Love might be a more appropriate term. I loooovvveeee making lists.
OhmygoshIleaveforBlogHeronThursdayandIhavesomuchtodo.
1. Learn to have intelligent conversations. Having conversations at BlogHer that go like this: “Hi, Jes – it’s nice to meet you” “Pffallarrgggiiibgghhhh” are not going to get me discovered.
2. Pack. I have to pack, y’all. Clothes. To wear. In public. Where I know cameras will be in abundance. Hey - do I look fat in this?
I’m certain I’m going to forget something, like maybe my phone charger or my Breathe Right strips or my underwear or my pajamas. And won’t THAT make for an uncomfortable first introduction with my roommate?
Comments
Don't worry about the ummm's and ahhh's because when those women hear your Y'ALL, they'll just say "you say that so much better than DOOCE".
Posted by: Mike | July 26, 2006 12:25 AM
Quit being such a freak, ya freak.
I already play the role of freak in real life. You just wait.
Kidding - we're so gonna have fun!
Karen
Posted by: Karen Rani | July 26, 2006 01:22 AM
I can't stand the sound of my voice on recordings. I just heard it again the other day. I looked at my husband and said, "How do you stand listening to me."
I totally wish I was going to BlogHer. Maybe next year.
Posted by: Crissy | July 26, 2006 09:14 AM
Ahahahahahaha, you are so "special" and I love that about you. You do have a great voice and should do voice overs. Would you like to voice over for me, in real life, that could be interesting. And UGH you're leaving Thursday, so we will probably pass each other in the sky. Sad. And yet I am so excited for you, because you might come back famous and such and I can say I know the voice behind Chirky in REAL LIFE and that will make me famous by extension.
Posted by: Katie | July 26, 2006 11:21 AM
I'm wearing whatever you're wearing. Send me a memo.
Posted by: megan | July 26, 2006 12:46 PM
Too funny. I get writer's anxiety, too. "What if THIS is the entry that makes people hate me?" We women, we are crazy.
Duuuuuuuuuuude. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I want to be going to BlogHer. Bah. (Have a family conflict.) Must go next year.
Posted by: Lawyerish | July 26, 2006 01:12 PM
Ditto on the whole I-hate-my-voice-on-recordings thing. I always sound like I'm twelve - despite all attempts to sound grown up and mature. Oh, and I have a tendency to ramble when I'm nervous. Ramble, ramble, ramble. Ug.
Don’t worry, though. You’ll be fine at the conference. You’ve always come across as very confident in person (at least from my perspective). Just relax and be your (chirky) self!
Posted by: Deals | July 26, 2006 01:28 PM
Um, you need to POST A FINAL POST before you leave! I mean come-ON!
And of course we expect TONS of pictures!! And videos! And if you get a chance to meet Dooce you better tell her that Eddo of Posted Note said high and then open mouth kiss her for me! Thanks!
Posted by: eddo | July 27, 2006 09:29 AM
1. Hello, *I* talk like a Valley Girl. It's endearing, darn it!!!
2. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Do I get to see you tonight??? Are you on a plane already??? Is it too late to find out when you land and whatnot??? I suppose I can wait till morning... how will I find you at the conference? What if it's like my dream and I can't find you and I'm all by myself???
3. By the way, what are wearing to this thing. I did all (ok most) of my laundry last night - I have nothing.
Posted by: Courtney | July 27, 2006 10:21 AM
And that is exactly why I have only owned one tape recorder that I could talk into, and have recorded maybe 30 seconds total of voiced notes into it. Funny post!
Posted by: Caryn | July 31, 2006 11:04 PM