Now, More Like A Wet Dog Than Ever (Part Three)
June 02, 2006
If you haven't already read Part One and Part Two, please do so.
I love the way my conditioner makes my hair feel, especially when I first massage it into my scalp. It's soft and silky and free of tangles, and I can run my fingers through it effortlessly, feeling every curve of my scalp and every bump that - wait. What? A bump? On my scalp? Odd - I've never noticed it before.
I ran my fingers back to the bump. It's small. I can move it, like a skin tag. Note to self: research skin tags, and why such tag would be on my scalp. Not normal.
And then, I suddenly remembered that I had just gotten home from camping.
"Roger!"
(silence)
"Roooogeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrr! Heeelllllllppppppp!!!"
Roger climbed out of bed and ambled into the bathroom. He pulled back the shower curtain, saw my hands stuck to my scalp and conditioner dripping into my eyes. "What's wrong?"
"Tick! Tick! I think I have a tick! Look at my head. Right here." (pointing to what I hoped was just a skin tag) "Is there a tick?"
Roger's glasses fog up. He set them on the counter and moved in close, his eyes only a couple inches from my head. He gingerly moved my wet hair around, trying to get a better view. "Yep. You've got a tick."
::Squealing and jogging in place: "Eeeeee! Get it off! Get it off!!"
"Wait a sec."
I watched him leave the bathroom and come back with a box of matches.
"Roger." (pause) "NO. You're going to set my hair on fire! I don't care if I AM in the shower."
"If you try to remove it with tweezers, it's possible you won't get all of it and a fang will remain embedded in your scalp. When my dad lived in Africa, they had to deal with ticks all the time. The best way to remove a tick is to strike a match, let it burn, and then blow it out. While it is still hot, I'll touch the match to the tick. The tick will scream out in pain, releasing its fangs from your skin, and then it will be really easy to remove. Believe me: I know these things."
I stared at him. He struck a match and then blew it out. My eyes instinctively squeezed shut as he came near me with the hot match and every muscle in my body tensed. I felt a hot sensation and yelped, opening one eye to glare at Roger. "Oops. That didn't work." He struck another match, let it burn longer, and blew it out again.
Apparently, this is a technique perfected by the Liberians, a technique that shouldn't be attempted at home by two white honkeys who don't know what they're doing, because I never heard the tick scream out in pain (and I was listening). Roger finally grabbed the tweezers and I felt the tick holding on for dear life as it was being pulled from my scalp.
Now, sitting at work, my fingers are working overtime, nervously examining each follicle. I think that tonight I'll go straight to the local pet store and buy a bottle of flea and tick shampoo. That should help, right?
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Comments
Oh my gosh. yuck!
Posted by: Kristi | June 2, 2006 10:29 AM
My mom has always been a fan of the burnt out match thing... luckily, I've never had to try it. ICK!
Posted by: Courtney | June 2, 2006 11:02 AM
Reason #1 to not go camping. Anywhere. Ever. Ew!!
Posted by: heather | June 2, 2006 12:04 PM
That's just wrong. Just very very wrong.
Posted by: Molicious | June 2, 2006 12:24 PM
You can get lyme disease from deer ticks. Are you sure it wasn't a deer tick?
(Give you something else to worry about... >:) )
Posted by: ben | June 2, 2006 12:43 PM
UN UH
Ticks in hair - NOT ALLOWED
Posted by: Katie | June 2, 2006 12:46 PM
Roger." (pause) "NO. You're going to set my hair on fire!" This line was priceless. I hope this series never ends.
Posted by: eddo | June 2, 2006 01:28 PM
Ben: I've already emailed my doctor a full-size version of my hamstring, lamenting that I feared I had lyme disease.
He took a look at the pictures and assured me that I didn't. So. We've already covered that.
Posted by: jes | June 2, 2006 01:43 PM
Whew. Good deal. lol.
Posted by: ben | June 2, 2006 01:46 PM
so gross.
i am not coming near you until you are 100% tick-free...even if i do have your CSI DVD's!
Posted by: say no to ticks | June 2, 2006 05:13 PM
Play...I suddenly feel very very itchy!! It's the tick photo...EWW!
Posted by: mrsmogul | June 3, 2006 04:45 PM
I think you might not need to worry about Fleas, though.
Posted by: Jayleigh | June 3, 2006 06:14 PM
ACK! OUCH! My stomach got all queasy reading this Jes! OUCH!!!
Posted by: Karen Rani | June 3, 2006 06:21 PM
I was going to go camping with my family in July but now, I'm opting for an air conditioned hotel room...LOL! Now I'm itchy! Yikes, I would have totally passed out if that was on my head.......I'm glad you got it out though!
Posted by: Sassy | June 3, 2006 06:22 PM
Ick. Yuck. Ew. I hate bugs (and related creatures) with a passion! That is why I shall only camp (if I must) in a log cabin with a bathroom and running water. That's as far as I go with roughin' it!
Posted by: Maggie | June 4, 2006 12:00 AM
Ew ew ew ew!! One more reason I'll never go camping! Just in case you decide to brave it again (or find other ticks, which I hope you don't), I've heard putting nail polish on them makes them let go of you so you can remove them, since the smell of the polish is so strong. Seems safer than a burnt match near your hair! :)
Posted by: my life is brilliant | June 4, 2006 06:05 PM
I wouldn't have lived through it. Just sayin'.
Posted by: jonniker | June 4, 2006 07:57 PM
Jogging in place in the shower is very dangerous, young lady! You could have slipped and fallen. Then the tick would have been the least of your worries because you'd have A BROKEN NECK.
And also, ew.
Posted by: Nothing But Bonfires | June 5, 2006 08:34 AM
Ohhhhhhhh, YUCK! I am impressed by your composure upon such a gruesome discovery! If it had been me, there would have been a lot more screaming, crying and running around like a lunatic, possibly into the street naked.
When I was a kid, I got a tick in a MOST unfortunate place. Somewhere - ahem - below the belt. {shudder} I'm still recovering.
Posted by: Lawyerish | June 5, 2006 01:53 PM
Oh my goodness! That is one of the BIGGEST things I fear about camping! How do they get in our hair? I thought that they were in weeds and attach only to legs (which is bad enough). Gross! I would be feeling them all over me, super nervous, after that, even if they weren't. {{Shudder}}
Posted by: Lily Bleu | June 5, 2006 04:14 PM
umm yeah, that was enough to make me not want to camp anytime soon! TICKS IN THE HAIR! OMG OMG OMG!
Posted by: ms thang | June 6, 2006 03:37 PM
Wow. Ticks just happen to be my biggest fear in life. Gross
Posted by: katie | June 6, 2006 03:40 PM