Strabismus
May 05, 2006
I can remember, when I was just a munchkin, standing in the doorway to the garage and crossing my eyes at my mom. She would say, "Stop it, Jessica. Your eyes are going to freeze like that!" And I would laugh and uncross my eyes, just to prove (in my three-year old mindset) that she was wrong, and then I would run out to the swingset in the backyard.
For the past few years, I have noticed that one of my eyes sometimes...wafts. But only sometimes. Like when I cover one eye to read a chart, the other eye will roll away. Or when I'm trying to focus on something in front of me, one eye totally dominates and the other throws a fit and drifts to the sidelines, pouting. It's sort of fun, because NOT MANY PEOPLE CAN MAKE ONE EYE FLOAT AWAY! Had I discovered the ability in middle school, I might have used it to feature myself in the year book (for permanent documentation), or at least I would have had it highlighted in the school talent show, instead of wearing a grass skirt and sports bra whila "hula dancing."
But then there are those people who really have a lazy eye. A permanent lazy eye. Like my accountant. And I never know where I should look. Because neither are totally drifting - they're just kind of hovering in different directions like two UFOs preparing for a duel. Doesn't that give him a headache? Because when my eye does that, I get a headache.
And will he be offended if I'm looking at the wrong eye? Because how am I supposed to know? Should I just flat-out ask which eye is better for him? Would that be rude? Perhaps sandwiched between other questions to make it seem as though it is all part of our normal conversation? "Hello! How are you doing? LOVE the haircut. How is your family? What eye should I look at? Are my taxes going to kill me this year?"
Wasn't that natural?
Because you know you're aching for a demonstration like your stomach aches when you've just consumed four foot-long chili cheese dogs with extra onions (and I just realized that a video of this would have been even better), I took a picture of my eye! Drifting!
See it? See the eye on the left pointing down, and the eye on the right looking straight ahead? Raw. Talent.
Turns out my mom was right. Or, partly right. Because my eyes haven't permanently crossed, but they TOTALLY drift. It's okay though: I won't get offended if you ask me where you should look. I'll just freak out and run to the mirror, camera in tow.
Comments
Your eye situation reminds me of that commercial where the guy is in the bathroom and having a conversation with his eyes. And one eye is a little slower than the other. Kinda the same, but not. Ya know?
If I were you, I would be officially freaked out. But I freak out about everything.
Posted by: Molicious | May 5, 2006 10:55 AM
Ya Ya, a post about your freaky eye... and yes it's freaky. But mostly I just REALLY like the first picture of you! How VERY photogentic!! Pretty girl!
Posted by: Courtney | May 5, 2006 11:42 AM
Wait. Is it conscious, or does it just happen? If it's conscious, that's pretty cool. Very useful, if you have little boys around to entertain. Or for other things, I'm sure.
Posted by: Lia | May 5, 2006 12:15 PM
You.Are.A.Freak.
But that is why I love you - in a strictly tectonic way of course!
Posted by: eddo | May 5, 2006 01:33 PM
Jes, TPNL = The Player to be Named Later.
Sorry, I didn't realize I had left that out of the post. :o)
Posted by: Molicious | May 5, 2006 02:30 PM
I had trouble getting past the first picture! Jes, you are so photogenic! The seering eyes, the toussled hair, the pouty face...you have the whole package! :-) You just cant take a bad picture, can you!?!
Now the subject of the post...that is too cool! Thanks for the picture evidence. One of my friends here has a lazy eye too, and I think the SAME THING! "Which eye do i look at?"
Posted by: Allison | May 5, 2006 03:25 PM
Ahhh!! Don't do that!!! It's completely wigs me out.
The first picture is great, though.
Posted by: heather | May 5, 2006 03:36 PM
Lia: Usually it's totally a conscious act.
Posted by: jes | May 5, 2006 04:09 PM
Oh.My.Gosh. I don't think I've laughed this hard in a long time!! TOTALLY know what you mean about which eye to look at! And Jes - you're demonstration makes me sick... Eww!
Posted by: Heidi | May 5, 2006 05:33 PM
Hahahahaha! You just made me spill the glass of water I was drinking! I always wonder where to look too.
I think the drifting eye is caused by a weak medial rectus muscle, which pulls your eye in. When your lateral rectus (pulls eye out) is stronger, it makes your eye drift.
Or it could be a problem with your cranial nerves 8 and 9. But I forget what kind of problems because I've lost my brain since I had a baby.
But since yours is so minor, I wouldn't even worry about it- it's a fun party trick!
Posted by: girl from florida | May 5, 2006 08:08 PM
I am just wondering which one is your good eye?
Posted by: ben | May 5, 2006 09:22 PM
I totally wouldn't have noticed. Look how cute you are! Wandering eye and all, your second pic is adorable.
Posted by: jonniker | May 5, 2006 10:19 PM
Ben: That's the greatest thing - EITHER will do it. My right eye drifts up and to the right, and my left eye will drift down and to the left.
But both eyes won't do the drifting at the same time.
Posted by: jes | May 5, 2006 10:29 PM
augh!! First, Eddo's scary ending and then the second photo? I'm scared!
But I love the first photo. Your hair looks GREAT. It's just a great picture over all! Why does it look like you're not wearing clothes though?
Ha ha - and the slipping it in to normal conversation was oh so sly. They'd never know what hit them.
Posted by: Amstaff Mom | May 6, 2006 10:04 PM
You SO better do that when I meet you! LOL!
Posted by: Karen Rani | May 7, 2006 02:06 PM
I can do that too! and I can roll my eyes in different directions, it really freaks people out.
Posted by: sara | May 8, 2006 02:12 PM
jessica, are these pictures in the mirror and you are holding the camera out of the frame? or are you looking in the mirror with the camera facing you?
Posted by: Katie | May 8, 2006 04:35 PM
camera was out of the frame - this is my reflection in the mirror.
Posted by: jes | May 8, 2006 04:44 PM