I Shaved My Legs and EVERYTHING
May 12, 2006
All week long I have been reminding Roger, "Don't forget: We have a wedding to go to Friday night." This morning I was standing in my closet picking out what I will wear, and what I will wear consists of a pair of flowy black pants that have a GLITTERY WAISTBAND, a waistband which I love, despite the fact that the sequins don't actually attach at the seams. That only bothers me a little bit. Only enough for me to purchase a pack of sequins and sew them on there, because I'm obsessive and quite proud of it.
This morning, the following occurred to me:
1) It's Friday! Fridays are the first day of the weekend for me! (My freshman year of college, they year that I drowned myself in pools of beer, my weekend started on Thursdays. This is why I must state that now they begin on Fridays.)
2) The bride? The one getting married tonight? She loves showing cleavage. I mean, I don't know that she loves it, but I do know that she does it, and she may hate me for saying this, but, in her case, it totally works for her because she has the cleavage to show. I just look like a hussy when I try it, and that's why it rarely happens (unless I'm wandering around my home, ALONE, and even then, there's not that much to flaunt).
3) If we were talking about my butt, it would be a completely different story.
4) Cleavage equals liquor! Because, at the risk of sounding like an alcoholic, which I am most certainly NOT, I am CERTAIN that there will be alcohol at the wedding, and since I am officially off the meds, drinking such substance isn't as likely to cause a spewing, vomitous effect on me.
Today I called Mel to ask her what she is wearing, because a girl can never be too sure, and she informed me that actually, Jes, the wedding is on the 19th, not tonight.
So! No blushing bride until next week, but this does mean that I am going to my grocery store directly after work to pick up some navel oranges for EIGHT CENTS EACH, which I was quite disappointed I would miss because the sale is only during certain hours, and those hours would otherwise have been used by me driving to the wedding.
Comments
I'm glad that we got that all figured out. In your defense, the wedding was originally scheduled for tonight when they first got engaged. But after they went to make the actual arrangements, they moved it to the 19th. Oh well, at least you are prepared for next Friday - can't wait to have a drink with you since I can do that now that I'm not breastfeeding any more or pregnant! :)
Posted by: Mel | May 12, 2006 04:39 PM
Whhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Posted by: jes | May 12, 2006 04:41 PM
No picture of the pants? What's up with that? Hope your weekend is great and you enjoy the evening, now that it's free.
Posted by: heather | May 12, 2006 05:43 PM
As I was reading this, I was thinking that it was funny that you hadn't mentioned going to a wedding at all on Saturday.
But now I know why. Hope you enjoyed your oranges.
Posted by: AmStaff Mom | May 15, 2006 07:02 AM
How did I miss this post?
Anywho, I bet those pants look like a pair of sea anenomes, except not in the sea.
Posted by: eddo | May 15, 2006 05:51 PM