Chirky

Last Sunday Roger and I had dinner with my sister and brother-in-law and my super-adorable nephew that I always want to stick in my pocket and carry home with me. (And so Deb, if you ever think he's been kidnapped, just come check my house.) We pretended to be Betty-Homemakers and made enchiladas from scratch. "From scratch" makes it sound like it was harder than it was, but Old El Paso and Deb and I were ALL OVER that enchilada recipe.

Deb and Mark and Roger and I were talking about taxes, because this is what grown-ups do, and Mark suggested we go see his tax accountant. You may now imagine skepticism creeping into my heart, because WE'VE ALREADY DONE OUR TAXES FORTY BILLION TIMES. Mark is a salesman of sorts, but I don't know what he sells, I just know that he is very good at it, and he proved it by selling us on the idea of going to his accountant. So crafty!

This is where the phrase, "Two things in life that every person should have are a good lawyer and a good accountant" becomes our new mantra.

After looking through what little we have left of 2005 expenses, mainly because I love the shredding machine, Billy was able to knock our taxes down by $1,500.

Mark! Deb! You saved us $1,500! Now why don't you let me help you GAIN one thousand, and GO COLLECT IT FROM THE TEXAS STATE COMPTROLLER, BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN CHECKING AND YOU HAVEN'T DONE IT YET AND IF YOU DON'T THINK IT IS LEGIT, JUST GIVE ME A COPY OF YOUR DRIVERS LICENSE AND I'LL DO IT AND THEN YOU'LL BEG ME TO GIVE YOU THAT MONEY.

We hung out in Billy's office for two hours last night - he's so affable. And extremely intelligent. Not at all socially handicapped by his brain! He has five degrees, including his doctorate, because he just loves school. He had his engineering degree by 19, has worked as an intelligence officer in the CIA, and now has his own company: W & W Hill and Associates. He works on taxes for a number of celebrities, which is one of my favorite parts about him, because he's got connections. This really means nothing for me, except for the rights to say, "My accountant's got connections." It makes you tremble in your flip-flops, no?

I thought, "How can I ever thank him? (Besides paying his fee?)" I could send flowers to him! But he's a boy, and boys just don't appreciate flowers as much as girls do. I could send Mothers Day Flowers to his momma! Except, his mom doesn't know me and she may not even be alive, and how awkward would it be to try to track down her gravesite so I could send flowers? And then, who could even sign for them?

When he told us how much our taxes decreased, I shouted, "Are you serious?!? I could KISS you!" And then he looked at me and Roger looked at me and the accountant was all, "Ohhhh, nooooo...I couldn't let you do that." And I meant that I would kiss him on the cheek, but I think he was assuming that tongue would be involved. But believe me, IT WOULDN'T. That's reserved for Roger alone.

Even if Billy DOES have connections.