Irrational Fears
March 02, 2006
I've noticed that 82% of the time that I drink Sprite, I begin to hiccup. And I think that hiccups are scary. I know! That's absurd!
But it's true.
I sit here, bracing myself for the next one, never knowing when it will come. And when I think it will, it doesn't. And when I think I'm clear, it happens!
Having the hiccups is like having someone pin you against a wall with one hand around your neck, choking you like a boa constrictor squeezing its prey. And then they stop. And then they do it again. And then they stop. And then they do it again. And then they stop.
And sometimes the hiccups come out when you are talking, and you make this loud, ludicrous noise that is a cross between belching and gasping for air and your torso is thrust into a minor form of whiplash. And then you realize that everyone is staring at you.
Comments
"...and you make this loud, ludicrous noise that is a cross between belching and gasping for air..."
wow... you are so discriptive... if you want to get rid of them... you need to stand on your head with a pencil in your mouth drinking a glass of water.
I am sure NOBODY will look at you if you do this.
Posted by: ben | March 2, 2006 09:58 AM
Adam taught me a great trick I had never heard of to get rid of them. Get a glass of water and put a wash cloth over it and drink the entire glass of water through the wash cloth. It works I promise!!!
Posted by: Holly | March 2, 2006 11:58 AM
I know, I hate hiccups as well. I usually drink water and hold my breath for ten seconds. Then they go away!
Posted by: fran | March 2, 2006 12:22 PM
jes, you have the inate ability to make me giggle at the simplest things in life, I adore that about you
Posted by: Katie | March 2, 2006 01:09 PM
i HATE having the hiccups. why are they so god forsaking LOUD?!?!!
Posted by: jennster | March 2, 2006 02:22 PM
I don't get hiccups, I outgrew them when I was 5 I think.
Man, if everyone else was only as lucky to be me.
Posted by: eddo | March 2, 2006 04:11 PM
LOL Eddo, you will get them now that you professed that!
I hate the hiccups too, they suck!
Posted by: ms thang | March 3, 2006 07:50 AM
Sometimes hiccups REALLY HURT. Like my stomach or is being forced through my larynx or something. youch.
Posted by: AmStaff Mom | March 3, 2006 11:18 AM