God: He totally answers prayers.
March 06, 2006
When I was in 5th grade, I was invited to be part of a secret group. A sisterhood, really. Anytime we saw each other, and didn't give each other the appropriate signal, we were allowed to (or more accurately, supposed to) punch each other. Not in the face - just in the arm or something.
I don't remember what the signal was - maybe we were supposed to tilt our head 45 degrees to the left and 10 degrees down, or perhaps we did the Roger Rabbit. Maybe we had to say the phrase, "That's, like, psychadelic" or "STOP! Don't hit me!", which the latter would have been more appropriate.
I only recall getting frogged a couple times, probably because of my quick, cat-like reflexes. Except, don't call me Kitty. After a while, and by a while, I mean a couple days, this group became boring to me. Or, possibly it was just painful. I wanted out.
The ring leader, aka biggest bully, Hope, informed me that she wouldn't let me out of the group unless I bled. When she told me that, I think I stared at her and my heart stopped beating. It was the closest I ever came to being in a gang.
Just then, my nose! It started bleeding! For no reason!
And that was the onset of chronic nosebleeds, which lasted through 7th grade, when as a last resort, my chiropractor put a dime against my nose and drilled on it, and somehow, the vibrations made the bleeding stop.
Now, whenever I get a nosebleed, I just knock a dime on my nasal bone; but it usually doesn't do any good.
Comments
God DOES answer prayers! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Posted by: Stephanie | March 7, 2006 09:40 AM
Kitty Kitty was in your Gang?
Your stories are crazy. (I mean Crazy in the best way possible.)
Posted by: ben | March 7, 2006 11:47 AM
You must have really wanted out to endure chronic nosebleeds. For two years. Wow.
Hello, Kitty.
Posted by: Lia | March 7, 2006 04:27 PM
Jes F, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Posted by: theblogpatrol | March 7, 2006 11:46 PM
I'm just glad you prefaced this story with, "When I was in 5th grade". Otherwise it would have been strange.
ha. ha. ha.
Posted by: AmStaff Mom | March 8, 2006 06:53 AM
HahahahaHA!
The blog patrols comment was funny.... "And may God have mercy on your soul."
Too funny.
Posted by: ben | March 8, 2006 08:21 AM
How is my story idiotic? I'm officially taking offense. Hmph.
Posted by: jes | March 8, 2006 08:38 AM
Jes, that was a quote from "Billy Madison". It was meant to be funny, not offensive. Please go to Pokey O's and eat an ice cream sandwich and chillax!
Posted by: eddo | March 8, 2006 10:25 AM
Pokey O's. Have you been there yet? I haven't, but I was telling Roger that this weekend that I want to go sometime soon!
Who is Billy Madison?
Posted by: jes | March 8, 2006 10:47 AM