If you are in the market for a home purchase, let me help.
February 08, 2006
I like to peruse ads for homes being sold. You learn to be very cynical while doing this.
"Cozy" means small.
"Custom tile" means you'd never pick this tile, and it was only chosen by the Seller because it was cheap and they needed a quick fix-me-up. You'll probably end up tearing it out to replace it, and since you've already torn out the tiles you might as well tear apart the rest of the kitchen/bathroom/etc., because why not, while you're at it?
"This house is special" means "Believe me, you're not going to find ANYTHING like this on the market. And that is usually a good thing."
"This house has so much charm" means the kitchen walls closely resemble pea-green soup and the bathroom tile goes UP the wall. And, just for good measure, the color of the tile will never match any fabric currently sold by retailers.
"Lovely home!" means the realtor is trying to convince you to only look at the house. NOT the backyard that is smaller than a Smart Car.
"Investment Property" means you'll spend more than you paid for the house just on renovations.
Do you have any to add?
* edited 6:30 p.m., for Ben. Smart Cars are popular in Europe because of their handy size, and subsequently, easy parking!
Comments
At February 08, 2006 3:59 PM, Ben said...
No... but what's a "Smart Car?"
I don't think we have any of those in Minnesota.
At February 08, 2006 4:27 PM, Eddo said...
"Lovely home!" means the realtor is trying to convince you to only look at the house. NOT the backyard that is smaller than a Smart Car"
This one had me ROLLING!
All of them are good, especially since I am looking to buy a home this year too - probably won't happen until December of NEXT year, but I want one THIS year!!!
At February 08, 2006 7:39 PM, amelia said...
LOL! I love it!! As a new home owner (who bought for sale by owner), when we were shopping I'd read those lines and be like "c'mon who are you kidding!" All so true!! BTW - I like the picture at the top. :)
At February 09, 2006 8:38 AM, jes said...
amelia, i TOTALLY put that picture in remembrance of you!
At February 09, 2006 9:40 AM, amelia said...
AWESOME!! Who-hoo! I feel so honored. :)
At February 09, 2006 9:59 AM, MsThang said...
Ben, here's another picture of a Smart Car taken on the street right outside of the Vatican.
Smart Car in Italy
At February 09, 2006 10:01 AM, MsThang said...
Oh and Jes, I love how your picture of the Smart Car is parked directly behind a dumpster on the street.. VERY TYPICAL EUROPEAN lol.
At February 09, 2006 10:25 AM, Katie said...
what the heck? why does the car have a water effect on it? and I wonder how many clowns can fit in that thing?
see this is what I gleaned from this post jessica, water effect cars and clowns
At February 09, 2006 11:12 AM, jes said...
Interestingly enough, a lot of Smart Cars have "unique" paint jobs.
At February 09, 2006 11:39 AM, girl from florida said...
I loved Smart Cars when we were in Europe. They are just so cute and so tiny. How do people cart their belongings around? Or their children?
At February 09, 2006 1:51 PM, Amstaff Mom said...
Poor Ben McMinn. Out of the Smart Car loop. I like how you don't have to parallel park. I saw them parked in London straight in a parallel parking space. I'm all about that. Even though it wouldn't be enough room for my groceries.
Posted by: jes | February 17, 2006 12:20 AM