Chirky: If only I I had thought of this in high school.

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with John and he is so nice - even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion mom, I'm pregnant and John said that we will be very happy.

He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.

John taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so John can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Mom, I'm 16 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your daughter,
Judith

PS : Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card, which is in my desk drawer.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!

Comments

jessica with where you grew up, everything but the p.s. might have been a letter that a mother of a high school classmate might have received

Posted by: Katie | February 24, 2006 02:11 PM

Sad.

But true.

Posted by: jes | February 24, 2006 02:49 PM

I've seen several different versions of this and always got such a kick out of it that I actually wrote one of my own in an email to my mom to tell her that I had gotten my second tattoo. Turned out pretty well. :)

Posted by: amanda | February 24, 2006 05:06 PM

Love it! Thanks for the laugh, Jes.

Posted by: Hooptie! | February 27, 2006 12:44 PM

Brilliant!

Posted by: Aimee | February 27, 2006 02:17 PM

Too funny!

Posted by: Courtney | February 27, 2006 02:41 PM