Chirky

What do you do when you see friend destroying his or her life? When blatantly in front of you, your friend takes part in activities that rip your heart apart? When you watch them in private and in public, and you can feel the hurt and the pain that envelopes your friend's heart? You can sense their desperate urge to mask their deepest feelings and fears, to make their life seem like what it is not. You can feel your friend's confusion and self-hatred, and you know it all too well because you've been there before.

You've been there before, exactly there, and you recall how you felt in those moments, those days, those weeks. Perhaps you look back and realize how pathetic you were, how ignorant you were, how insecure you were. And you often wish that you could erase those years from your life.

I sometimes wish I could shake sense into my friend, but I cannot. I sometimes wish I could kidnap my friend until my friend's life is reformed, but I cannot. I wish I could take away the sorrow, the pain, the fear. I wish I could replace my friend's insecurity with an understanding of the beauty of who he or she really is.

But I cannot.

I pray about it, but sometimes it feels like that just isn't enough. I want to tangibly do something, but my friend does not want help. And anyways, my help wouldn't be enough.