Chirky

Roger called to ask me to do a little research on a cleaning product he saw on TV. He described it as a tablet that you dropped in water, and it dissolved all the dirt and grease off of pans, etc.

Since it was an infomercial, I headed straight to AsSeenOnTV.com. The homepage displayed a plethora of products, and the very first jumped out at me. That could have been because it was called Urine Gone. Works Great! Just $19.95!!!

First, how awkward.

Second, who developed this, and how many times did it take them to get it right?

Third, did the inventor urinate on products himself? (I'm assuming this was a he, since I can't imagine a she inventing such a product.) Did he lock his dogs and gerbils and lab rats in a small area, on a piece of cloth or carpet until they had no choice but to wet themselves? Was this tested on the inventor's son, who perhaps was a bed-wetter?

Fourth, did this infomercial run during the day or in the wee hours of the morning when perhaps mothers were cleaning up after their children, or when drunkards lost control of their bladder after all that alcohol? Alcohol goes straight through me, so I'm assuming it does the same to everyone. Or, perhaps it is just because I can't hold my liquor.

So many questions to be answered! I must click! I tried to will my fingers off of the mouse and away from the Urine Gone. Works Great!, but my curiousity overcame me.

The bottle looked normal enough, and the description of the product couldn't keep my attention past the first five words. I was just about to hit "back" when something caught my eye. The Urine Gone. Works Great! was a package deal!! For the low, low price of $19.95, you NOT ONLY get the Urine Gone, BUT ALSO get a blacklight for detecting stains!

Sweet! A blacklight. I would totally buy this product, if only to get the light! They use it on CSI all the time, and I could use it to see stains and blood and other things that may be in my apartment! In the carpet! What if a previous tenant was murdered in my apartment, on my floor, and I had no idea until I used my new blacklight?

Or, I could hang it on the ceiling and invite my friends over. And I'd tell them to wear white and we'd dance all night long, in the glow of the blacklight.

Remember that ride at the state fair when we were kids that was like an indoor vomit ride that flung you all over the place, and it was dark inside and they played a lot of Guns n Roses REALLY, REALLY LOUD and when the ride started, the whole place lit up in blacklights, and even the cave-looking walls lit up in blacklights and the paint on the cave walls glowed in florescent colors? Yeah. I'm totally having a flashback right now.