The Punishment
October 24, 2005
Saturday night, Roger and I met up with some friends for dinner and a movie. And when I say movie, please don't think we sat on the couch or on the ground, hunkered around a 32" screen.
Rather, we were on the third floor of a delightfully monstrous, technologically-advanced home that looks like it should be the set of Alias rather than our friend's house. The third floor, you see, is the theater room. The theater room is probably 20 x 20 feet, with an off-shooting hallway that leads to a restroom. In the hallway is a mini-bar and a refrigerator stocked with Snickers, Raisinettes, M&Ms, Milk Duds, popcorn, Cokes, etc.
The room has only eight seats, but OH, MY. THE SEATS. Each are chocolate-colored leather and recline to a full-horizontal position. They have cupholders, and are attached movie-theater style. Beneath the television screen is a small wooden stage, where the kids get up and do "performances," and in front of the television is a deep red theater curtain.
The television itself is a 72" HDTV projector screen, so crisp that I could see the hair follicles of every Auburn University football player. I would have been perfectly content to lay there and stare at the ceiling, but our friends were even more gracious by having several movies for us to choose from!!
We all decided on "The Punisher," a movie with Sylvester Stallone and John Travolta. Oh, how far Travolta has fallen. I think it is because he is a Scientologist. But, shhh!! Don't tell Tom Cruise or Katie Holmes. Travolta has reached Thetan Level 9, which is the same as complete brainwashing by Xenu the great alien from a far, far away planet. Xenu seeks you, too.
"The Punisher" is about an FBI agent who vows to avenge the death of his family, at any cost. It should be renamed "The Punishment," because that's how we felt while we were watching this movie. The acting? So-so. The plot? Decent. The script? HORRENDOUS. Horrendous!! And cheesy! We all knew it was cheesy because at each "intense" moment during the film, WE WERE LAUGHING. AT THE RIDICULOUSNESS OF IT, AND YOU KNOW IT MUST HAVE BEEN FUNNY AND RIDICULOUS BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP TYPING IN ALL CAPS.
