Chirky

To improve my diet, I am not just consuming ungodly amounts of water. I am also trying to acclimate myself to diet and protein supplements. It has been suggested to me by a certain Someone that I should eat three meals, with a healthy snack between breakfast and lunch, and another between lunch and dinner. Someone emphasized the importance of the healthy snack. Left to myself, I would much rather eat fruit. Or animal crackers. Or Oreos.

Someone gave me a few samples of different "healthy" products to try. Typically, I am against the consumption of meal replacement bars and snacks. But only because they taste so gross. You may recall the SlimFast episode. The episode wherein I tasted the Rich Chewy Caramel snack bar and nearly vomited in a projectile fashion after I had chewed a few times and the taste seeped onto my tongue. It tasted like raw potatoes! For the record, I am one of the few that actually enjoys eating raw potatoes, but my mind had realized that I was not, in fact, eating raw potatoes. I was eating something that looked like a 100 Grand bar, and it wasn't meeting my brain's expectations.

Yesterday, my mid-morning snack consisted of a White Chocolate Chip "protein cookie." Yumm!! Cookies! And chocolate chips! How could ANYONE go wrong with that?!?

If these cookies were all I had to eat for the rest of my life, I would be a very, very, very thin person. Much like Nicole Richie. Or Lindsay Lohan. Or Laura Flynn Boyle.

After each miniscule bite of my "cookie," I had to gulp down lots and lots of water to rinse the taste out of my mouth. And then I took another bite of the cookie, and so on. It was a vicious cycle. By 11am I realized that it would not be possible for me to finish the cookie, lest I gag and discover that every organ in my body had exploded within the confines of my skin.

Typically, such a product would naturally become waste, and be disposed of within a day or two. This product, however, met its destiny early. Not the toilet. The trashcan.