Chirky

One of my favorite things to do during the summer is swim. But! How fascinating!
I don't just swim. I practice unusual behaviors while I swim. The unusual
behavior that I am sharing with you today is a highly kept secret, only known by
some of my closest friends. So, sshhhh!!! Don't tell anyone.

I will only share one unusual behavior with you today. I fear overwhelming you
with facts and causing your head to spin into another dimension. Please feel
free to try this next time you swim. It is sure to cause intrigue among all your
friends.

First:
Keep one (or all) of the following items near you at the pool: potato chips, a
sandwich, and dry cereal.

Second:
While in the pool, take a bite of your chosen food (but not all at the same
time � that would just be gross).

Third:
With the food in your mouth, take a big breath and swim underwater (or, if you
prefer, you can sit, do a handstand, or tread � but your entire body MUST be
underwater).

Fourth:
Chew your food.
I admit: reading this does not sound all that mesmerizing. BUT TRY IT, because
your life will forever be changed. The dryness of the food in your mouth is an
incredibly stark contrast to the rest of your underwater environment. Every time
you eat a Pringles potato chip, you'll remember the time that you chewed a chip
underwater. You'll try to simulate chewing a turkey sandwich in the bathtub, but
the experience just won't be the same.

You'll giddily try to get all your friends to try it, but they'll just give you
a look that says, "You're ridiculous." You and I know the truth, though. Try it,
and then come tell me what you thought. I'll be your support during this time of
loneliness, this time of being shunned by your friends in light of your new
discovery. We'll work through it together, form our own foundation, and take the
world by storm.

D.F.W.E. Dry Food, Wet Environment. Perhaps I should start a website for this
new Foundation.