Chirky

Sometimes, I wish that I were the type of person who wore brooches. If I were that type of person, my brooch would actually be a camcorder. And with my camcorder, I would record fashion offenses, and post them here on my site.

Until that day comes, you will have to endure my drawings.

I wish I had the capability to address people's fashion faux pas in a way that was acceptable, tactful, and wanted. Usually, they are none of those things. I have a desire deep within me to inform people who wear things, things that are all wrong, how they could make one simple change and look classy instead of trashy.

Today's offender is the woman in front of me in the cafeteria line. Her earrings! Oh, my! They were enormous. And when I say enormous, I mean that they were the size of dinner plates! Okay, maybe not dinner plates. But, at least the size of teacup saucers. And, when we're discussing earrings, TEACUP SAUCER-SIZED EARRINGS ARE MUCH, MUCH TOO LARGE.

Here is my rendition, drawn to scale:

That burnt orange and gold thing? That is the teacup saucer. The metal earmuffs. I tried searching her hair for a string that connected the two, because I would have felt much more comfortable about this accessory if it was a device to keep her ears warm in the 100 degree heat of Texas. Unfortunately, no such connection could be found.

I am devastated.