Chirky

He is backpacking in California with a friend of his from college. A friend of
mine recently asked if I was lonely without him around, and this was my reply,
only somewhat edited:
"Am I lonely? Could I even express it in words? I miss Roger SO much. Every
day I wake up and pray for him, and his safety. I try to imagine what he's
doing, and what he and Jonathan are talking about, and whether he's getting
tired. I visualize him huddled near his camp stove, boiling water for his hot
chocolate and enjoying the marshmallows that I packed for him. I wonder
whether he is sleeping well, and if he is catching any fish, and I hope that
he is thoroughly enjoying this time with his good buddy.
"I imagine the beauty of the nature surrounding him, and hope that he'll bring
back lots of pictures for me! And I'm jealous that he's there without me,
because we both love backpacking and the mountains so much!
"I find myself doing things certain ways, just because I know that Roger would
want them done that way. Small things, like putting away my hair ribbon
instead of leaving it on the bathroom counter. Or rinsing out the milk carton
before I put it in the trash. Or turning off the computer instead of just
putting it in hibernation.
"People who go through divorce, or people whose spouses die, I don't know how
they do it. How they go on living, how they don't cry themselves to sleep at
night without their spouse next to them for the next many, many years of their
lives. I mean, I'm not crying myself to sleep or NOT living, obviously, but I
imagine that for a great period of time it would be so difficult for me
without Roger if I ever lost him."
I love him so much, and will be so glad when he comes home!

Roger and Jes camping at Caddo last year