Chirky

Dear Roger,

I am a bit flustered right now. I wish you were here. Tonight when I got home
from work, I immediately went to the bathroom to relieve myself from the two
glasses of tea that I drank at lunch today. As I washed my hands, I watched the
toilet fill up with water, but never make the pleasant sound of a fully
accomplished flush.

As it started nearing the top, I started shouting, �Oh, no. Go back down! Go
back down! No! Don�t do it! DON'T!�

Then I heard the soft ker-plunk of water droplets hitting the floor, in perfect timing with my heart.
Slowly at first, and then more rapidly. Our bathroom is now more likened to a
small kiddie-pool than a facility for relieving oneself.

Now what I am supposed to do? You�re gone! I don�t know what to do! I grabbed
our clean, soft, fluffy towels and threw them down on the ground in a lame
attempt to soak up the pooling water. Somehow, it just felt wrong.

Why don�t we have nasty towels for days like this? I must consider investing in
some. Where do they sell those? Could I find some used towels at Goodwill?
Perhaps eBay? Should I start stopping by garage sales and asking whether they
have old, gross towels that I could purchase? Would that be offensive? And where
would we store them?

Roger, YOU are the man. You are supposed to take care of these situations. Yes,
maybe that sounds a bit sexist, but I DON�T CARE. In our relationship, I cook
and fold clothes, you fix the overflowing toilets. That�s just how it works.

I know that when this has happened before you typically take the plunger-thing
and do something with it inside the toilet, but what? I don�t know where to put
it, or how to plunge, or when to start or stop. Should I do it while the toilet
is overflowing? Should I wait it out until the water line begins to slowly
recede?

As it is now, I am doing nothing. I�ll just use our guest bathroom until you get
home.

Love you,
The Ineffectual Wife