Chirky

There is a reason the tuna sandwich isn't on the "6 grams of fat or less" list
at Subway. But, I'm willing to believe that you don't know it, but I only
believe this because I like to convince myself that I know everything.

In this belief system, it is required that you know nothing. Therefore, peons
Readers, I would like to now inform you that I know everything. You are becoming
very sleepy. I know everything. Very sleepy. Jes knows everything. Bring your
questions to me. I speak the truth.

Ha! You didn't know, did you? All this time, you thought you were being HEALTHY
by ordering a tunafish sandwich at Subway. But you were wrong! Ha!

Of course, it is because you didn't ask me first.

The tunafish sandwich has 31 grams of fat! Per serving! Which means you are
eating 62 grams of fat if you eat a foot-long sandwich! Which proves that I am
always right, because I did that mathematical equation IN MY HEAD. Which means,
WITHOUT paper. Now you know it is true. And still, if you try to cut it down the
31 grams of fat by ordering the deli round, you are STILL getting 31 grams of
fat! 31! Grams of Fat! Scarfed down, by you!

Not only are there 31 grams of fat per serving, which I will continue to repeat
until your brain explodes and your ears are connected only by a thin string of
tissue dangling from your scalp, but it ALSO has 530 calories. Which, in case
you don't know, is the SECOND HIGHEST number of calories on the menu! 31 grams
of fat! Brain exploding! Ears dangling and eyeballs blasted four feet from your
face, imbedded into the wall in front of you!

I would like to prove the fat value of the tuna sandwich at Subway by giving you
a comparison: The Big Mac at McDonald's.

Big Mac
calories: 560
calories from fat: 270
fat: 30

Tuna Sandwich at Subway
calories: 530
calories from fat: 280
fat: 31

Therefore, it is better for one to eat a McDonald's greasified burger that has
been sitting under the heating lamp for 46 minutes than a tuna sandwich. Who
would have thought?

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Author's Note, 1:23pm: Bianca (and her coworker, Lesley) started this
conversation with me, by telling me that they were going to Subway to get subs,
and that they were getting the tunafish sub, even though it had the 2nd highest
number of calories. I took it from there. Bianca thought that she should give me
"permission" to blog about this. I'm not sure why. And she told me that I could
only blog about it if I included her and her coworker Lesley in the entry. I'm
not sure why. Why should I need to include her? Or Lesley? And why should I need
her permission to blog about this? Regardless, I will humor them, and make them
THINK that I am adhering to their wishes. But soon, their brains will explode.
From the 31 Grams of Fat! that they consumed for lunch.