Chirky

I have bruises all over my body. I took a whipping this weekend, and have lived
to tell about it. I am not sure what chemical imbalance in my body caused me to
crave such a physical thrashing, but I kept going back for more.

I now have three bruises on my arms, four on my legs, and others that shall
remain unidentified. I allowed myself to be dragged, unmercilessly, from behind
a moving object. My body contorted in ways that I could never replicate of my
own accord. Not that I would want to.

AND I LAUGHED WHILE IT WAS HAPPENING.

This weekend, we went to the lake. I attempted to slalom, unsuccessfully. I
attempted to water ski, unsuccessfully. This was depressing for me, considering
I used to consider myself a pretty great water skier. The worst, however, was my
attempt to kneeboard without having proper instructions.

When one does not know how to do something, and is being towed behind a boat at
approximately 30 miles per hour, and it feels like a hammer is coming down all
over different parts of the body of said person for the bulk of the time spent
behind the boat at 30 mph, perhaps it would be wise of that person to first ask
someone WHO KNOWS HOW TO DO IT for tips.

Of course, if that one person who knew how to do it was not present, and other
people who had never done it before were trying to give suggestions of how they
thought one should perform said activity, perhaps it would be wise to wait until
the one person who knew how to do it returned.

"Nay!" said I, "Not necessary! This can't be very hard – I can do it!" People
were cheering me on as my body skimmed the water, legs flailing and body
pounding against the waves. (That, or they were laughing at me.)

After three suicidal attempts of kneeboarding, I gave up. After watching me,
only one person was brave enough to try it also. His efforts were strikingly
similar to mine.

I laughed at him, thinking, "I really like Bianca's new boyfriend. He's not
afraid to take a beating for our entertainment!"

Matt, thank you. I'm sorry for all those times I couldn't stop laughing at you
each time you wiped out.