Chirky

Today a sound occurred that you never want to hear when you are squatting under your desk, ready to rush off to lunch. My entire body went into shock, and I remained motionless for a full six seconds before I settled back into my chair, where I sat very still for four more seconds, all the while thinking, "Oh, God. What was that? Don't let it
be true. Sometimes it is easier to play stupid and pretend that you don't know, even when you do because you heard it AND you felt it. It was The Feeling. I even prayed that I was mistaken.

But God doesn't bargain, and perhaps He would like me to exercise rather than sit like a sloth in front of the TV for eight hours at a time while I watch 24 until 11:30 pm just to be forced out of bed in the morning by an alarm clock that WON'T. SHUT. UP.

I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch, so I quickly stood up, swiped my hind parts, and ducked into the ladies room to view the area affected by The Feeling. I stood staring at myself in the mirror, at all different angles, for a full two minutes, and then went into the stall to assess the damage.

Thankfully, that ripping noise I heard was the lining of my pants and not my slacks. Little flaps of ripped lining folded over and caused odd-shaped lines and wrinkles in my hind parts, which I happily accepted considering what COULD have happened.