Chirky

One of my favorite moments during the year (because it happens so rarely) is when I walk into the ladies room at work and the lights flicker on. This little electronic signal means that no one has been in the restroom for at least a
certain number of minutes. I know this because the lights shut themselves off after a certain amount of time of not being used...to conserve energy, got it?

Somewhat related, I think it is important that you know that my bladder has its own brain. And when it wanders into a public restroom and realizes that the lights are flickering on, it begins to send messages to itself to relax, and
skips toward the middle stall. The middle stall, because there are rules:

Rule Number One: You cannot go to the first stall, as this is too close to the door. Going to this stall means that you are being hasty. Take the extra two steps.

Rule Number Two: You cannot go to the last stall, because we all know what that means.

Rule Number Three: Either the second or the third stall is acceptable; provided, however, that no one is occupying the adjacent stall. If someone is occupying the adjacent stall, it is acceptable break either Rule Number One or Rule Number Two.

My bladder is introverted, and when forced to be in the restroom with other bladders it becomes a wallflower. My brain spends several long seconds coaxing my bladder's brain to just forget about the other person. And when that person has done the same, or when the sink faucet is turned on, or when any toilet is flushed, my bladder is finally convinced that it is acceptable to be in the ladies room with other people who are in the ladies room for the exact same reason.

You may consider this as Too Much Information, but then, why did you continue to read it if you thought that? You only have yourself to blame.